Community Magazine July 2021

TAMMUZ - AV 5781 / JULY 2021 25 that he was having trouble formulating his words. After the CAT scan, the doctor came to their room with a chair in hand. They knew the news could not be good. Tami recalls, “The ER doctor sent us to NYU, where a new doctor recommended surgery within a day or two. I did not say the word ‘petrified’ even once. I couldn’t go there - I just put one foot in front of another. But surgery? Is this the right doctor? I knew I needed the expertise only the Cancer Center could offer. Nancy picked up my call while with her grandkids at Universal Studios in Florida. She settled them, and sat down. ‘I’m all yours,’ she said." “Once I told her the story, she said, ’This is brain surgery! We need to research this! Give me some time.’ But when she called me back twenty minutes later, she was sure. This is THE guy. Do it. Afterwards, Nancy and I were talking twice a day at least. This was the right doctor for the surgery, but we needed a course of action going forward. Nancy told me to come in to the Cancer Center and see dedicated staff member Margie Matthews to collect copies of the scans to send out. I used to volunteer there, so to walk in, and be on the other side as a patient advocate was surreal. I expected to get the scans and a list of doctors. Instead, Nancy was standing there with a big smile on her face, a hug ready, and a muffin in hand. I am good at many things, but doctors - definitely not my forte. Nancy sent our records all over America, and later on, she would usher us into Duke, in North Carolina. ‘Do you need a charter? We can arrange it,’ she asked. ‘What’s a charter?’ I answered. She would have been on the plane with us, if not for COVID. Instead, she joined us via zoom, all of it her joy - like we were doing her a favor, allowing her to help us.” Joey Shamie explains the magic of the Cancer Center and the love, concern, and expertise that they provided when he needed it most. “When Adrienne and I faced the reality of my diagnosis, the first 911 call we made was to Nancy. She was in Israel on vacation, but of course, that didn’t stop her. She treated me like family - a brother - and gave 100 percent of herself. She made me feel like I had my own personal advisor and confidant, helping me to think things through to the best solution. Aside from that, she showed me firsthand that we all love and care about each other in this community.” CARING CONNECTIONS Rabbi David Ozeri recalls his first experience with the Cancer Center, ten years ago. “I brought in a patient truly traumatized by her diagnosis, and Nancy took her by the hand, introduced her to the staff, and calmed her in a way I never thought possible. I was amazed that something so complicated could be made so simple, and I never looked back. The patient received the best medical guidance and care available throughout her illness and she understood she was not alone; there was a light at the end of that dark tunnel. This is why the Cancer Center is always my first phone call in these situations.” Nancy and her partners Sonia Didia, Debbie Rahmey, and Gerrie Bamira (who is the head of the Deal division), and so many amazing volunteers, have learned that healing comes not only frommedicine but from people. From the very first meeting they are thinking of what the patient needs now, and later on. Is it counseling? A babysitter? A wig? A manicure or massage? Yoga? Meals for their family? Most helpful seems to be a connection that is made early on with other patients who’ve had similar experiences. When Ralph was invited to a men’s group and dinner, Tami was surprised he was open to it. “He’s so private,” she explained, “but Nancy managed to make him feel he was a part of something, and that she cared. It made him comfortable. I was also invited to a caregiver’s chat and get-together. Am I the caregiver, I asked myself? It’s an odd feeling to be part of a club I didn’t choose, but it’s comforting. It’s about showing you that somebody wants you to smile. It’s knowing we are in this together.” Joey Shamie agreed, “We all love and care about each other, and have similar issues. We meet and talk on a regular basis. The Cancer Center treats us to beautiful meals, makes sure we have a round table, so we can all see each other, and provides the finest accommodations. It’s like they have an aerial view of what’s going on. Because of their experience and dedication to the cause, they know how important it is for us to feel good. It’s a fantastic way of being able to heal, and help others to heal.” When Nancy called Renee and said, “We’re doing a mosaics class, I want you to come,” she scoffed. Renee is a physical therapist, and like Tami, had been on the other side of the equation, working at the Cancer Center helping patients. Nancy begged, and she showed up. “I came because I wanted to showmy appreciation for all the Cancer Center was doing for me and my family. Meanwhile, it ended up being an incredible experience. I didn’t know anyone there, but quickly I became very comfortable. Who else could I talk to about the tricks to get through chemo? I laughed because I knew that Nancy had tailored that class to us, so we would lean on each other. It was a support group, incognito. We understood each other, perfectly, and that helped.” Ralph Tawil at the bell at Sloan Kettering that patients ring when they complete their radiation. “I brought in a patient truly traumatized by her diagnosis and Nancy took her by the hand, introduced her to the staff, and calmed her, in a way I never thought possible.” – Rabbi David Ozeri