Community Magazine June 2021

80 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE Aboard an El Al flight from America to Israel, Esther was taking her very first flight to visit her children and grandchildren who have just made aliyah (moved to the Holy Land). They had only been aloft a few minutes when the old lady complained to the stewardess that her ears were popping. The girl smiled and gave the older woman some chewing gum, assuring her that many people experience the same discomfort. When they landed in Tel Aviv, Esther thanked the stewardess. "Thank you very much for the chewing gum sweetie," she said, “but tell me, how do I get it out of my ears?" David M. THE AIR UP THERE Yankele the shoemaker thinks that he is the wisest person in the town, when in actuality, he is the most foolish. In fact, the town folk tell him on a daily basis that he is a fool. One day Yankele hears the rabbi quote from the Bible that the Almighty protects the foolish. Yankele decides that this is his opportunity. “I'll jump off the highest building in town. If the Almighty protects me then I am truly a fool, but I won't get hurt, and if I get hurt then I'll have proven to all that I am a wise man.” Off he goes, and he jumps off the roof of the town's only three-story building. Of course, he falls badly and breaks many bones. While the town folk rush him to the hospital they hear him moaning, “I am not just a wise man. I am a genius!” Marty T. STRANGE SMARTS Mr. Cohen gives $1 every week to a particular beggar in his town. One week he sees the beggar and gives him only 25 cents. The beggar is indignant and complains, “Why did you give me only 25 cents?” Mr. Cohen replies: “My business was bad last week.” The beggar responds: “So you had a bad week and I have to suffer?” Gladys A. Sammy and Isaac haven't seen each other in a while. One day they happen to meet on the street. They exchange pleasantries when Isaac says to Sammy, “How come you didn't ask me how business is?” “I'm sorry,” replies Sammy. “So, how's business?” “Oy – don't ask.” Elliot H. A young man asked Morris, an old wealthy man, how he made his money. Morris took off his glasses and said, “Well, son, it was 1932 during the heart of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.” “So, I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.” “The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated the sum of $1.60…” “Then my wife's Uncle Bernie died and left us two million dollars.” Harry L. THE IMPORTANCE OF CHARITY STRICTLY BUSINESS A SUCCESS STORY Mrs. Cohen has been suffering from arthritis. On the advice of her daughter-in-law, she goes to see Dr. Rubinstein, a specialist. After a long visit, Dr. Rubinstein prescribes some medication and sends Mrs. Cohen on her way. After a few weeks, Dr. Rubinstein calls Mrs. Cohen saying, “Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answers, “So did my arthritis!" Rabbi and Rebbetzin Jacobson invited their new neighbors, the Applebaums, for Shabbat dinner. Not wanting to go empty handed, Mrs. Applebaum baked an apple pie and brought it over. Rebbetzin Jacobson appreciated the gesture and happily served it at the Shabbat table. But when dessert came and she took a bite, it was clear from the first moment that the pie was terrible. She looked over at her husband the rabbi and he, too, could hardly conceal his disgust. As soon as the Applebaums left, the Jacobsons threw the pie out immediately. Now, Rebbetzin Jacobson had a tradition of writing thank you notes to anyone who brought over a gift. At the same time, she was a very honest person and couldn’t say anything that was untrue. So, she sent a note to Mrs. Applebaum which read: “Thank you very much for the apple pie. Something like that doesn't last very long in our house!” A PAIN IN THE HAND PIE IN THE SKY