Community Magazine December 2019

CAN YOU CRACK US UP? Send us your most hilarious jokes, anecdotes, or observations. Top picks will appear in this section with the name of the contributor. email: jokes@communitym.com online: go.communitym.com/jokes post mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway, Brooklyn, NY 11223 A boy asks his father to explain the difference between irritation, aggravation, and frustration. The father picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the phone is answered he asks, “Can I speak to Alf, please?” “No! There's no one called Alf here.” The person hangs up. “That’s irritation,” says the father. He picks up the phone again, dials the same number, and asks for Alf a second time. “No, there’s no one here called Alf,” the voice on the other end says. “If you call again I will call the police.” “That’s aggravation,” the father points out to the boy. “Then what’s ‘frustration’?” asks his son. The father picks up the phone and dials a third time. “Hello, this is Alf,” he says. “Have I received any phone calls?” Channie E. IRRITATION, AGGRAVATION, AND FRUSTRATION Miriam woke up one morning and told her husband Max, “I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace for our anniversary. What do you think it means?ˮ “Youʼll know tonight.ˮ Max said. That evening, Max came home with a small package and gave it to Miriam. Delighted, Miriam opened it to find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams.ˮ Leslie S. THE DREAMER WHERE’S THE BEEF? Shloimie Rabinowitz told all of his friends about the great corned beef sandwich he'd eaten at Yitz’s Deli the day before. So, a group of his friends decided to join him and see if was really as large and delicious as Shloimie was making it out to be. The group was seated in the back of the deli. After looking over the menu, they ordered and waited, hungrily, for their large, delicious, gigantic corned beef sandwiches. To their collective disappointment, the waiter brought out some of the smallest corned beef sandwiches they'd ever seen. “What is going on here?!” Shloimie exclaimed to the waiter. “Yesterday when I came down here you served me a BIG, juicy, corned beef sandwich. Today, though, when I have my friends with me, you serve small miniature corned beef sandwiches! What’s the deal?ˮ “It’s very simple sir,ˮ replied the waiter. “Yesterday you were sitting by the window.ˮ Paulette R. 92 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE Riddle: Flower Garden SUBMITTED BY JILL D. Karen planted sunflower seeds in her back garden. Every day, the number of flowers doubles. If it takes 52 days for the flowers to fill the garden, how many days would it take for them to fill half the garden? Last Month’s Riddle: Fruit Salad Besides all being fruit, what do apples, blackberries, tangerines, apricots, and raspberries have in common? Solution: All are (or have been) the name of a tech company’s product! Solved by: Mishael Lavizadeh and Big Mike. Junior Riddle: What’s In A Name? SUBMITTED BY ALEXANDER F. Billy’s mother had 5 children. The first was named Lala, the second was named Lele, the third was named Lili, and the fourth was named Lolo. What was the fifth child named? Last Month’s Junior Riddle: Locksmith If a car key would open a car, and a house key would open a house, then what would open a banana? Solution: A monkey! Solved by: Atara Gottesman, Mishael Lavizadeh, Nissim Almaliach, Yisroel Mendel Hutner, Blum Family, Blumie Ribiat, Aliza L. Hamra, Blimi Yoffe, Haim Solei, Sarah Mizrahy, Naomi Shalom, Big Mike, Emily V. Kassab, Mrs. Biller, Chaim Reuvain S., Little Mike, Claudine Soffer, Norma Tawil, Joey Dabah, AaronMatat, andMichelle Guzman. Send your solutions! online: go.communitym.com/riddle email: riddles@communitym.com post: 1616 Ocean Pkwy, Brooklyn, NY 11223 Correct solutions received by the 18th of each month will be noted in the next issue.