Community Magazine November 2019

Style SPIRIT & FORTHEWOMANOFTODAY 58 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE TAMMY SASSOON, M.S.ED POSITIVE PARENTING Tammy Tammy Sassoon, M.S.Ed, is a Parenting Coach, Behavioral Therapist, and Principal at Orot Sarah. She gives live workshops as well as "train by phone" telecourses to teachers, principals, therapists, and parents. She can be contacted through her website at tammysassoon.com or by phone at (347) 679-5466. If you are a frustrated mom or dad looking for answers to a specific problem at home, or want to improve your parenting skills in a certain area, please send an email to editor@communitym.com . Tammy will suggest new and effective parenting strategies that actually work! Submit a question to Tammy Does any of this sound familiar: My son doesn’t listen to a thing I say… My daughter doesn’t care one drop about her schoolwork… No matter how much I give my kids, they always want more… Will my kids ever care about just doing the right thing?! The list goes on and on. Every parent has their own specific challenges. Let’s face it. Nobody is exempt from challenges in life. They just take on different forms for different people. Since we know that it’s our thoughts that create our experiences of life, let’s examine the thinking of people who seem to embrace life with joy, compassion, and inner peace. People who are less overwhelmed practice the "Zero-One Hundred Rule." That means they put zero energy into what they have no control over, and 100% of their energy into what they DO have control over. For example, a mother recently called me up and said that she is at her wit’s end with her son refusing to go to school every morning. I had her make a list of all the things that she can't and can control about the situation. This is what she came up with: After this mom made the lists, she texted me that the next morning was much smoother. Her son didn't get out on time with the bus (she drove him), but because she put all her energy into what she had control over, she was calmer, kinder, more creative and understanding, and her son felt more relaxed about going. I didn't even ask her how she encouraged him, but that's irrelevant because the point is that we always come up with better ideas and solutions when we focus ONLY on what we CAN control. If you are looking to feel less overwhelmed in your life, make a long list of all the things you CAN and CAN'T control, and put 100% of your energy into the ones you can control. Any energy we put into what we can’t control is a waste of time, and depletes us of the energy we need for other things. So, start using the “Zero-One Hundred Rule” today with something in your life that generally overwhelms you. Organically, you too will quickly become more like one of those people you used to wonder about. All the Things I CAN’T Control 1. 2. 3. All the Things I CAN Control 1. 2. 3. Why Is It That Some Parents Almost Never Seem Overwhelmed? CAN CONTROL Trying to understand him How to think creatively to motivate him Being there for him Being kind to myself and taking good care of myself CAN'T CONTROL My son's moods My initial feelings of being overwhelmed My son's wishes to stay home My son's personality