Community Magazine February 2019

MUSIC & MAKES THE PARTY DJ, LIGHTING, AND MORE www.DJBaturo.com 646-339-4344 WEDDINGS | BAR / BAT MITZVAHS | ENGAGEMENTS MANY MORE SIMACHOT LIGHTING SHEVAT - ADAR I 5779 FEBRUARY 2019 45 I thought about how hard that would be. The truth was that in my present condition I couldn’t even put the tefillin on by myself if I tried. I’d always thought that a Jew couldwake up any day he wished and do teshuvah . I’d never even considered that the ability to put on tefillin wasn’t a given but a blessing. What would happen if I was permanently prevented from doing the mitzvah, Gd forbid?? No, I couldn’t accept that. Not while I still drew breath. The mitzvah of tefillin was mine, even though I’d discarded it for the past 20 years. “I don’t think I can,” I said softly. The boys came closer. “It’s time,” said Steven Balanka. No longer in charge, my students became my teachers. They would help me, teach me to remember what I’d always known as a Jew but had forgotten due to disuse. I was ready to acknowledge my obligation as a Jew. Visions of my parents, my children, my grandson’s brit - marriage, simchot , tragedies - the entire span of life swelled up inside me. I lost it and couldn’t stop crying, but I followed the boys’ commands as they helped me roll up my sleeve and bring me back to where Gd was now taking me. I recited the words of the berachot , in fulfillment of Hashem’s commandments. Just the other day I’d asked Rabbi Haber a question. Something was wrong with how I was dealing with my pain. I hadn’t realized then that the answer was just feet away, in the bet midrash . Connecting to Gd’s planwas the only way to get through this world. Yes, it was time for me. And I thanked Gd for the opportunity to keep growing, learning about life and our true destiny. Today, Stevie and Jack had my permission to leave class and go buy a pair of tefillin for me. With Gd’s help, I will try to put them on every day except Shabbat for the rest of my life. Thank you, boys. Thank you, Rabbi Abboud. Thank you, Hashem, for showing me that a Jewish soul “always thirsts for Thee.” Adapted version of the article that appeared in the Ami Magazine. “Every year they would ask me regularly if I wanted to put on tefillin. To me, that was too personal a question. But this week was different."