Community Magazine January 2019

CAN YOU CRACK US UP? Send us your most hilarious jokes, anecdotes, or observations. Top picks will appear in this section with the name of the contributor. email: jokes@communitym.com online: go.communitym.com/jokes post mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway, Brooklyn, NY 11223 SNOW PLOW Moe and his son Lawrence live in a big city. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.” Moe’s son goes out and moves his car. A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.” Moe’s son goes out and moves his car again. The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park…” then the electric power goes out. Moe’s son is very upset, and with a worried look on his face he says, “Dad, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplow can get through?” With love and understanding in his voice, like all good fathers, Moe turns to his son and says, “Son, why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time?” Lisa A. HOSPITAL VISIT Old Mrs. Feinberg came to the hospital to visit a friend. Mrs. Feinberg was one of the lucky ones. As old as she was, she was extremely healthy, never visiting the hospital. In fact, she had not been in a hospital for so many years that she was somewhat ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. “Oy, I would hate to be hooked up to that thing,” Mrs. Feinberg said. “So, would I,” replied the technician. “What is it?” asked Mrs. Feinberg. “It’s called the Brava 380.” “I see. What does it do?” she asked. “It cleans the floor.” Adam F. 122 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE Riddle: Man On Wheels SUBMITTED BY: MARTIN H. What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a nicely dressed man on a bicycle? Last Month’s Riddle: Matching Socks You have 10 white socks and 10 black socks mixed together in a drawer. You are up early and it is too dark to tell them apart. What’s the least number of socks you’ll need to take out blindly to make a matching pair? Solution: Three socks. If the first is black, the second could be black, in which case you have a match. If the second is white, the third sock will be either black and match the first sock, or white and match the second sock. Solved by: Randa H., Paulette Levy, The Riddle Master, and The Shmulster. Junior Riddle: Bargain Hunter SUBMITTED BY: : JAMIE D. Where can you get four suits for less than two dollars? Last Month’s Junior Riddle: What Am I? I am flat as a leaf, round as a coin, have two eyes – but I can’t see a thing. What am I? Solution: A button! Solved by: David Almog and The Gadeh Family. Send your solutions! online: go.communitym.com/riddle email: riddles@communitym.com post: 1616 Ocean Pkwy, Brooklyn, NY 11223 Correct solutions received by the 18th of each month will be noted in the next issue.