Community Magazine August 2017

ANOTHER KIND OF EXERCISE REGIMEN A MYSTERIOUS FEAT REVEALED PERFECT VISION No matter what he did, Dr. Stern couldn’t get one particular patient of his to exercise. So he came up with a new strategy. "I'm prescribing these pills for you," Dr. Stern said, as he weighed the man who tipped the scales at over two hundred and fifty pounds. "I don't want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time." Morris M. As the bus pulled away, a woman realized that she had left her purse under the seat. Frantic, she called the bus company and was relieved to hear later that the driver found her bag. When the woman returned to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded her. One of them handed her her purse, two typewritten pages, and a box containing the contents of her purse. "We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there." As she started to put her belongings back into the purse, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse. And we'd like to see just how you do it." Sherry C. Morris is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife Miriam. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad that once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went." Miriam sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea with a piece of cake. As they sit down, she says, "Why don't you take my brother Herman with you and give it one more try." "That's no good," sighs Morris. "Your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help." "He may be a hundred and three," says Miriam, "but his eyesight is perfect." So the next day, Morris heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law Herman. He tees up, takes an almighty swing, and squints down the fairway. He turns to Herman. "Did you see the ball?" "Of course I did!" replies Herman. "I have perfect eyesight." "Where did it go?" asks Morris. "I don't remember." Joey B. CAN YOU CRACK US UP? Send us your most hilarious jokes, anecdotes, or observations. Top picks will appear in this section with the name of the contributor. email: jokes@communitym.com online: go.communitym.com/jokes post mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway Brooklyn, NY 11223 Riddle: The Case of the Disappearing Pounds SUBMITTED BY: DANNY COHEN A woman weighed 200 pounds on Monday. The next day, she weighed 170 pounds. She didn't exercise or eat healthy. How did she lose so much weight so fast? Last Month’s Riddle: What Am I? I go in dry and come out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get. What am I? Solution: A tea bag. Solved by: Sarah Cohen, E.K., Chani Z., Yaakov S. Sutton, Albert Kadoch, Miriam, Jeanne, Mazal, and Lorraine M. Junior Riddle: What Am I? SUBMITTED BY: E.K. What asks no questions, but receives lots of answers? Last Month’s Junior Riddle: What Am I? If you have it, you want to share it and if you share it you don't have it anymore. What am I? Solution: A secret. Solved by: E.K., Chani Z., Sarah Nakash, Ray Matalon, Miriam, Jeanne, Mazal, Lorraine M., and Rochel Schwab. Send your solutions! online: go.communitym.com/riddle email: riddles@communitym.com post: 1616 Ocean Pkwy, Brooklyn, NY 11223 Correct solutions received by the 18th of each month will be noted in the next issue. 94 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE