Community Magazine January 2017

HEARING LOSS A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there was a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Here’s what you do,” said the doctor. “Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.” That evening, as his wife was in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den, the man said to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away; let’s see what happens.” Then in a normal tone of voice he asked, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?” No response. So, the husband moved closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeated, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Still, no response. Next he moved into the dining room where he was about 20 feet from his wife and asked, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again he gets no response. So, he walked up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again, there was no response. So, he walked right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” “Clyde, for the fifth time... CHICKEN!” Sally J. CAN YOU CRACK US UP? Send us your most hilarious jokes, anecdotes, or observations. Top picks will appear in this section with the name of the contributor. email: jokes@communitym.com online: go.communitym.com/jokes post mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway Brooklyn, NY 11223 EVER WONDER... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?    Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?    Why ‘abbreviated’ is such a long word?    Why the man who invests all your money is called a “broker?”    Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?    Why they are called “apartments” when they’re all stuck together? If “con” is the opposite of “pro,” is Congress the opposite of progress?    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the “terminal? SCA Riddle: Common Denominator SUBMITTED BY: E.K. Right now, everyone in the world, no matter where they are, is doing the exact same thing. What is it? Last Month’s Riddle: How Is It Possible? Three doctors say Joey is their brother. But Joey says he has no brothers. How is this possible? Solution: Doctors don’t necessarily have to be male! Joey has three sisters who are doctors. Solved by: Shua Harary, Rachel Freue, E.K., Paula Sardar, Sherly Sardar, Raymond Habert, Rina Mamrout, Rachel Shamah, Simcha Hazane, Daniela Blum, Yosef Blum, Eliezer Blum, Esther Blum, Yael Blum, M.C., Jojo Levy, Sheryl Levy, and Elliot Hazzan. Junior Riddle: Wintery Mix SUBMITTED BY: FRANCINE MASSRY Why did the girl wear one mitten and one boot? Last Month’s Junior Riddle: What goes up and down but does not move? Solution: Stairs Solved by: E.K., Simcha Hazane, Daniela Blum, Yosef Blum, Eliezer Blum, Esther Blum, Yael Blum, Jenny Mamrout, Ezra M. Haber, Lucy Allaham, Elliot Hazzan, Nadia Hazzan, and Yehuda Maslaton. Send your solutions! online: go.communitym.com/riddle email: riddles@communitym.com post: 1616 Ocean Pkwy, Brooklyn, NY 11223 Correct solutions received by the 18th of each month will be noted in the next issue. A husband read an article to his wife that specified how many words women use a day: 30,000 to a man’s 15,000. The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men.” The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What? NathanM. YOU DON’T SAY TEVET 5777 JANUARY 2017 79