Community Magazine December 2016

EDUCATION Joe, a college student, was taking a course in ornithology, the study of birds. The night before the biggest test of the semester, Joe spent all night studying. He had the textbook nearly memorized. He knew his class notes backward and forward. Joe was ready. The morning of the test, Joe entered the auditorium and took a seat in the front row. On the table in the front was a row of ten stuffed birds. Each bird had a sack covering its body, and only its legs were showing. When class started, the professor announced that the students were to identify each bird by looking at its legs and give its common name, species, habitat, etc. Joe looked at each of the birds’ legs. They all looked the same to him. He started to get angry. He had stayed up all night studying for this test and now he had to identify birds by their LEGS? The more he thought about the situation, the angrier he got. Finally he reached his boiling point. He stood up, marched up to the professor’s desk, crumpled up his exam paper and threw it on the desk. “What a ridiculous test!” he told the prof. “How could anyone tell the difference between these birds by looking at their legs? This exam is the biggest rip-off I’ve ever seen!” With that, Joe turned and stormed toward the exit. The professor was a bit shocked, and it took him a moment to regain his composure. Then, just as Joe was about to walk out the door, the prof shouted out, “Wait a minute, young man, what’s your name?” Joe turned around, pulled up his pant legs and hollered, “You tell me, Professor! You tell me!” Abraham C. CAN YOU CRACK US UP? Send us your most hilarious jokes, anecdotes, or observations. Top picks will appear in this section with the name of the contributor. email: jokes@communitym.com online: go.communitym.com/jokes post mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway Brooklyn, NY 11223 A civil servant gets badly hurt, after falling down the stairs at City Hall. He is taken to the hospital where he remains in a coma for several days. Finally, an eye opens and his doctor tells him, “My friend, I have bad news and I have good news. First of all, you’ll never be able to work again.” “Okay,” muttered the injured bureaucrat. “What’s the bad news?” Y.D. OUT OF WORK Riddle: How Is It Possible? SUBMITTED BY: C.C. Three doctors say Joey is their brother. But Joey says he has no brothers. How is this possible? Last Month’s Riddle: How Can It Be? There was a horse race with three riders. The rules were as follows: The one arriving at the finish line last would win. The problemwas, of course, that none of the riders wanted to move when the race began, all wanting to be last! They did move eventually, though, and someone won. How? Solution: The riders all dismounted from their own horses and rode another rider’s horse so that their own horse would be last! Solved by: Debra Yaich, Moussa Yaich, and Ezra Jemal. Junior Riddle: What goes up and down but does not move? SUBMITTED BY: FRANCINE MASSRY Last Month’s Junior Riddle: What Am I? What has a head and a tail but no body? Solution: A coin Solved by: Steven Grazi, Ness Vachnine, E. Jemal, Faiga R. Cohen, Leah Mayor, Eli Nuseiri, Yehuda Maslaton, Chaya Maslaton, Rivka Mezrahi, Nadine E. Tabbouche, Raquel Anteby, Isaac Balasiano, Avital Zaghi, and Aviva Zaghi. Send your solutions! online: go.communitym.com/riddle email: riddles@communitym.com post: 1616 Ocean Pkwy, Brooklyn, NY 11223 Correct solutions received by the 18th of each month will be noted in the next issue. FINANCIAL ADVICE A teenage girl came running in tears to her father. “Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!” “I did? What did I tell you?” asked the dad. “You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble.” “What are you talking about? That’s one of the largest banks in the country,” he said. “There must be some mistake.” “I don’t think so,” she sniffed. “They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, ‘Insufficient Funds’.” Nathan D. 78 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE