Community Magazine September 2016

to the NewSchool Year ELLEN KAMARAS A s parents, we know that back-to-school is not only about school supplies, backpacks, new clothes, and shoes. It’s also about starting off the year on the right foot. Before you push the panic button, I invite you Moms and Dads to take a fresh look at this year’s back-to-school (BTS) process. Here are some tools to help you partner with your children to bring in the school year with positive energy instead of anxiety and dread. Positive Thinking As a life and organizational coach, I sincerely believe in the power of positive thinking. Research has shown that adopting positive attitudes and shifting from a negative mindset to a positive one can increase one’s overall happiness, health, success, and wealth. We Jews have been practicing positive thinking and expressing gratitude for thousands of years. At least twice a week, I see an article about the benefits of gratitude and being positive. Expressing gratitude helps people replace negative thoughts with positive ones. For example, a popular life tool is to list five new things for which you are grateful each morning when you wake up. Well, isn’t that the first thing we Jews do when we wake up? We declare, “ Modeh ani ,” thanking Gd for the great gift of life even before we get out of bed. Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Lubavitch taught about the vital importance of positive thinking, saying, “ Tracht gut, vet zein gut – Think good, and it will be good.” So why not put a positive spin on this year’s BTS process? Yes, the thought of the new school year can arouse fear and even physical symptoms of anxiety in children, parents, and teachers. However, human beings are wired to be able to shift and change, and so with the appropriate preparation and tools, we can turn the BTS process into a positive, energizing, rewarding, successful and, yes, even fun experience for the entire family. Here are three strategies to help parents jumpstart a positive and invigorating BTS process and chase away those “BTS blues.” BE PREPARED First and foremost, please be prepared! Preparation is the key to success in all walks of life. As Benjamin Franklin said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” When it comes to the BTS process, being prepared enables you to be confident and secure, so you can serve as a positive role model for your children. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be calm and confident on the first day of school? It would send a powerful, positive message to your children. If you are calm, confident, and energetic, those emotions will be picked up by your children. Conversely, if you are anxious, irritable, and negative, your children will sense these feelings and act in the same fashion. Modeling behaviors is crucial in shaping our children’s values and middot (character). If we don’t keep our cool, display positivity and act with derech eretz (courtesy), then how can we expect our children to do so? It’s not too late to take out that yellow pad and get prepared. Even if this is not your first time going through the BTS process, making a list is still a good idea, as it will help you focus, plan and move forward. My first career was as a CPA/Auditor, and the most valuable tool I took away from that experience was a daily to-do list. Fast forward 30+ years – I still start my day with a list. But, as my business coach recently recommended, we need to be strategic in planning our day’s activities. First, we must ensure that each listed task is purposeful and a priority. Secondly, we must remember tomark tasks as completed and update the list as needed. Another way I try to keep my list strategic is by placing a post-it pad on my nightstand so I can jot down an important task or solution to a problem that I worked out in my sleep. There is always a new factor in the BTS equation – a new job or schedule for Mom or Dad, a new school for one of the children, a new babysitter or housekeeper to train, new carpool partners A Fresh Approach 52 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE