Community Magazine July 2016

CAN YOU CRACK US UP? Send us your most hilarious jokes, anecdotes, or observations. Top picks will appear in this section with the name of the contributor. email: jokes@communitym.com online: go.communitym.com/jokes post mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway Brooklyn, NY 11223 DON’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT A husband and wife were once in an airport waiting on line, when the husband turned to his wife and said, “I wish we brought along our piano.” “Why?” the wife asked. “Because I left our passports on it!” Ron T. A LOGICAL MISUNDERSTANDING Rachel asks Sollie, “I’m short of some ingredients for the cake I’m baking, so could you please get some things for me from the supermarket?” “Of course I can, darling,” replies Sollie. “What do you need?” “Please get one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get six.” replies Rachel. Fifteen minutes later, Sollie returns with six cartons of milk. Rachel is furious with him. “Sollie! Why on earth did you buy six cartons of milk?” “Because they had eggs,” he replied. Jack L. DRESSING UP THE MARRIAGE PROPOSALS Miriam said to Harold, “Honey, I need a new dress.” “Miriam, you can’t just go shopping all of the time,” said Harold. “But I need a new dress,” said Miriam. “What’s wrong with the one you’ve got?” asked Harold. “It’s a little long and…well… the veil keeps getting in my eyes.” Linda S. Sophia is talking to her friend Estelle. “I just don’t know what’s the matter with you, Estelle. You’re nearly 30 years old and you’re still not married. Don’t you want a husband?” “Of course I do,” replies Estelle. “Then I don’t understand. Why haven’t you had any proposals?” “But you’re wrong there,” replies Estelle, “I’ve been asked to get married dozens of times.” “Really?” says Sophia. “By whom?” “By my parents!” replies Estelle. Frieda B. QUIET TIME Lorie was the mother of five kids under the age of 8. Her Aunt Sarah called her one morning, and their conversation was constantly being interrupted by the din of kids screaming and chasing each other. “Could you hold on for a moment?” Lorie finally asked, putting down the phone. Within ten seconds there was absolute silence on the line. Then, “Okay, I’m back.” “But it’s so quiet!” Aunt Sarah exclaimed. “You must have amazing discipline over your children.” “Not really,” Lorie confessed wearily. “I’m in the closet.” Karen S. SIVAN - TAMUZ 5776 JULY 2016 95 r i ddl e s Riddle: Defying Gravity SUBMITTED BY: RACHEL H. What comes down but never goes up? Last Month’s Riddle: Things Big and Small What travels around the world, but stays in a corner? Solution: A postage stamp Solved by: Berta Nusseiri, Ray Matalon, Eddie Nathen, Daniela Blum and Yael Blum, Steven Grazi, Joseph Greenspan, Miri Arazi, Isaac Balasiano, Sylvia H., Anida Shwecky, Sarah Cohen, Ikey Abady, Uri Lati, Rosie Husney, Emily V. Kassab, Momo Shrem, Ness Vachnine, Nadine E. Tabbouche, Meyer Gindi, and Esther Ballas. Junior Riddle: The Calendar SUBMITTED BY: SUSANA ORIA We see it once in a year, twice in a week, but never in a day. What is it? Last Month’s Junior Riddle: A Matter of Perspective What did Tennessee? Solution: What Arkansas! Solved by: Ray Matalon, Eddie Nathen, Isaac Kbabieh, Yosef Aron Blum, Steven Grazi, Sylvia H., Sarah Cohen, Charlie Rudy, Avraham Sutton and Avraham Ben-Haim, Rosie Husney, Nadine E. Tabbouche, Meyer Gindi, Miriam and Michelle Massre. Send your solutions! online: go.communitym.com/riddle email: riddles@communitym.com post: 1616 Ocean Pkwy, Brooklyn, NY 11223 Correct solutions received by the 18th of each month will be noted in the next issue.