Community Magazine March 2016

of a a i bp A proud and confident genius makes a bet with his friend. The genius says, “Hey, every question I ask you that you don’t know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can’t answer I will give you $5,000.” The friend says, “Okay.” The friend says, “Now I ask: what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?” The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5000. The geni- us says, “Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?” The friend hands over $5. Joe A . VACATION When my daughter was little, we took a vacation to Florida. Seated on the airplane near the wing, I pointed out to Sarah that we were above the ocean. “Can you see the water?” I asked her. “No,” she said peering out the window at the wing. “But I can see the diving board.” Ruthie G. GENIUS IN THE MIDDLE A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida vacation package we had booked for him. He was expecting an ocean-view hotel room. I explained that was not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. “Don’t lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!” Rebecca M. OFFICE WORKER Two office workers are talking. The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.” The man replies, “And how would you do that?” The woman says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?” The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.” The boss then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.” The man starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?” The man says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.” Max L. THE CHASE A RADIO NEWSROOM A scientist and a philosopher are being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist makes some quick calculations and says, “It’s no good trying to outrun it. It’s catching up!” The philosopher keeps a little ahead and replies, “I’m not trying to outrun the lion, I’m trying to outrun you!” Sarah D. Caller: I just wanted to let you know you’re off the air. Host: Yes, we know. The engineers are working on it. Caller: It would be nice if you put something on the air that says that. Source: Overheard in the Radio Newsroom Esther D. Riddle: Ping Pong SUBMITTED BY: A.B. If ping pong balls come in packages of either 8 or 15 to a box, what is the largest number of ping pong balls that can be ordered that will require breaking a box to fill the order? Last Month’s Riddle: Going Home One day, David takes the subway home from work. He tells his wife he will arrive at exactly 6:00 PM. His wife left and was scheduled to arrive to pick him up at exactly 6:00 PM. David decides to take an earlier train, arriving at the station at 5:00 PM. He decides not to call his wife, but begins to walk toward home along the fastest route, knowing that’s how his wife will drive. They meet somewhere along the route; he gets into the car; and they drive home. They arrive home 10 minutes earlier than planned. How long had the husband been walking when he was picked up by his wife? Solution: The husband had been walking for 55 minutes. Solved by: Daniel H. and The Shmulster. Junior Riddle: Frog Climb SUBMITTED BY: CINDY S. A well is 10 feet deep. A frog climbs up 5 feet during the day, but falls back 4 feet at night. Assuming that the frog starts at the bottom of the well. How many days does it take the frog to get to the top? Last Month’s Junior Riddle: Playoffs There are 50 teams entered in a single elimination tournament. Winners play until only one team is left. What is the total number of games that must be played? Do not count byes as games played. Solution: 49 games. There is one winner, so there must be 49 losers, and hence, 49 games played. Solved by: Arlette, Marcus S., Daniel H., and Victor Grazi. Send your solutions! online: go.communitym.com/riddle email: riddles@communitym.com post: 1616 Ocean Pkwy, Brooklyn, NY 11223 Correct solutions received by the 18th of each month will be noted in the next issue. CAN YOU CRACK US UP? Send us your most hilarious jokes, anecdotes, or observations. Top picks will appear in this section with the name of the contributor. email: jokes@communitym.com online: go.communitym.com/jokes post mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway Brooklyn, NY 11223 ADAR I - ADAR II 5776 MARCH 2016 95