Community Magazine January 2016

TEVET - SHEVAT 5776 JANUARY 2016 79 WEIGHTING AROUND Morris and his teenage son Sammy were out shopping at a sporting goods store when Sammy dragged his father to the weight-lifting department and proceeded to beg him to purchase a weight lifting set for him. “Please, Dad,” begged Sammy, “I promise I’ll use them every day...” “I’m not so sure, Sammy,” replied his father. “I think you may just lose interest in the equipment.” “Dad, please!?” “Sammy, these weights are also very expensive,” Morris added. “I promise, Dad, I’ll use them....” Sammy finally won, and his father paid for the equipment. As Morris was leaving the department, he heard his son call out...”What, are you crazy!? I can’t carry this stuff to the car!” Harry S. MURDER MYSTERY Victor walks into the police station looking for a job. Officer Harry begins to interview him by asking some questions. Officer Harry: “What’s 2 + 2?” Victor: “Umm, 4!” Officer: “What’s 4 + 4?” Victor: “Umm, 8!” Officer: “Good. Now tell me, who killed Abraham Lincoln?” Victor: “Umm, I don’t know.” Officer: “Well, go home and think about it, and come back tomorrow if you figure it out.” Victor leaves the police station and goes home. His wife is waiting anxiously by the door to see if he got the job. His wife asks, “Victor, did you get the job?” Victor responds, “Are you kidding? Not only did I get the job, but they already have me working on a murder case!” Jack Grazi LOOKING TO HIRE Abie was looking to hire a salesman at his tailor shop – Abie’s Tailor’s – so he put an ad in the local paper. One day a fellow named Jerome came in to interview for the job. Abie looked at Jerome’s resume and noticed that he had never worked in retail before. Abie said to Jerome, “What chutzpah, if you don’t mind me saying. For someone with no retail experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary.” “Well, I suppose I am,” Jerome replied. “But you must understand that the work is so much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing.” The Shmulster SERVICE FOR EIGHT A Jewish couple won twenty-million dollars in the lottery. They immediately set out to begin a life of luxury. They bought a magnificent mansion estate in Southampton and surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable. They then decided to have a butler and, wanting the best, they traveled to London to hire one. They found the perfect butler through an agency and brought him back to their estate. The day after his arrival, they instructed him to set up the dining room table for four, saying that they were inviting the Dwecks for brunch. The couple then left the house to do some shopping. When they returned, they found the table set for eight. They asked the butler why eight, when they had specifically instructed him to set the table for four. The butler replied, “The Dwecks telephoned and said they were bringing the Bagels and the Knishes.” Ike A. Riddle: Lunch Order Junior Riddle: Chess SUBMITTED BY: N.H. SUBMITTED BY: S.E. Four coworkers order takeout for lunch and the total is $60. The first person paid one-half of the sum of the amounts paid by the other teachers. The second person paid one-third of the sum of the amounts paid by the other teachers. The third person paid one-fourth of the sum of the amounts paid by the other teachers. How much did the fourth person pay? Last Month’s Riddle: Numbers Joe and Max are playing a game where they take turns calling out numbers. The first person to call out ‘50’ wins. The rules are as follows: 1. The player who starts must call out a number between 1 and 10, inclusive; 2. A new number called out must exceed the most recent number called by at least one and by no more than 10. Does Joe want to go first, and if so, what is his strategy? Solutions: Yes, Joe wants to go first and call out the number 6. The trick is to start at the end and work backwards. Joe wins if he says 50, he can say this if... Max says any number in the range 40 - 49 and will have to say one of these if... Joe says 39 , he can say this if... Max says any number in the range 29 - 38 and will have to say one of these if... Joe says 28 , he can say this if... Max says any number in the range 18 - 27 and will have to say one of these if... Joe says 17 , he can say this if... Max says any number in the range 7 - 16 and will have to say one of these if... Joe starts on 6 . So that is pretty much it. Joe wins if he starts on 6 then simply follows the sequence 6, 17, 28, 39, 50. Another way of thinking about this is that Joe forces each pair of numbers to go up in 11’s regardless of what Max says, hence he starts on 6 which is 50 - 4x11. Solved by: Fay Chesir, Victor Grazi, and David Masri. Mike and Eddie are both good chess players. They have completed five games and each has won the same number of games. There were no ties. How did this happen? Last Month’s Riddle: Keys What has eighty-eight keys but cannot open a single door? Solution: Piano Solved by: C . R., Becky Kassab, Joseph D. Faham, Sesar Faham, Sarina Faham, Adelle J Beckham , Fay Chesir, Rachel Levy, Jacob Levy, Marc Sardar, Eliyahou Mayor, Chaim M, Esther Jaradeh ,Sarah Jaradeh, Simcha Hazane, Adina E.Shweky, Michael Sutton, Ally Shweky, Aaron Shweky, Ruby Shweky, Jacqueline Shweky, David Shweky, Esty Jaradeh, Betty Gonojah, Yael Masri, Swass, Adina Buzagi, Allan Shweky, Helen Shweky, Nona Erani, Leslie Esses, Ness Vachnine, M. C., Baby J, and Samantha Chabot. 18