Community Magazine October 2014

90 Community magazine THE SIDE good sErviCE Sam heard all about the great service in the Sleep Fine Hotel, so after dropping his stuff in his room, he excitedly headed down to the hotel lounge. He was only there for a few minutes when a beautifully-dressed waiter came over to him. “Would you like something to drink?” she asked. Sam took in a deep breath, looked around at the beautiful lobby and asked, “What are my choices?” The woman gave Sam a strange look, and responded in an extra loud and slow voice, “Yes or no.” Sarah Dweck plaYing Cards Why couldn’t the pirates play cards? Answer: Because their captain was standing on the deck! Steven S sEnior travElEr An 80-year-old grandmother suffers from crippling arthritis and impaired vision to the point of near blindness. When her daughter booked her on a flight, she made sure to tell the agent about her special needs, including a wheel chair and an attendant. “Everything will be taken care of,” the agent promised. Feeling assured, the daughter said, “Thank you!” “You’re welcome,” the agent said. The daughter was about to hang up when the agent cheerfully asked, “And will she need a rental car?” Ralph Esses ColorEd Collision One ship carrying blue paint collided with another ship carrying red paint. The crew is missing and believed to be marooned. E. Cohen dasHBoard Two elderly women were out driving in a very large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, “I must be losing it… I could have sworn we just went through a red light.” A few minutes later, they came to another intersection with a red light. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red, but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. This time, she turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!” Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, my goodness, am I driving?” Yamir Safdieh WoMEn’s rigHts A girl involved with a women’s rights group boarded a crowded bus, and a man who saw her immediately rose to his feet. “No, no,” the girl said. “You must not give up your seat. I insist.” “You may insist as much as you like, Lady,” the man said. “This is my street where I get off.” Michael Levy dEsErt island A cruise ship passes a small, deserted island. Everyone watches as a bearded man runs out on the beach and starts shouting and waving his hands. “Who’s that?” asks one of the passengers. “I have no idea,” replies the captain. “But every year, we sail past and he goes nuts.” Jack V. Grazi