Community Magazine April 2014

124 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE EVENING PRAYERS When young David was asked by his father to say the evening prayer, he realized he didn’t have his head covered, so he asked his little brother Henry to rest a hand on his head until prayers were over. Henry grew impatient after a few minutes and removed his hand. “This is important,” the father said. “Put your hand back on his head!” Henry replied, “What, am I my brother’s kippah?” Abe Cohen LOST IN TRANSLATION In order to understand this joke you need to know that the word “kimdu” means “come”in Yiddish. A Chinese couple was with their son in a museum on Hol Hamoed, and at one point the Chinese boy asked his mother, “Why do all the Jewish people call their kids Kimdu?” Miriam Sultan KNIGHTED A British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen. He had been told that when his turn arrives, he is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. Finally, it is his turn, but he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder: “Mah nishtanah halaylah hazeh mikol halaylot!” Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, “Why is this knight different from all other knights?” Steven Sutton BUYING POWER A very wealthy anti-Semitic man walked into a store and saw a Jewish man standing in the corner with a kippah on his head. Outraged, the wealthy man yelled, “I want to buy a t-shirt for everyone in this store except for the man in the corner!” He then turned to look at the Jewish man, who was smiling. He again jumped up and yelled, “Now I’d like to buy sunglasses for everyone in the store, except for the man sitting in the corner.” He again turned to look at the Jewish man, who was still smiling. Out of frustration, he turned to everyone in the restaurant and yelled. “Now I want to buy whatever anyone wants, except for the man in the corner, and all the costs are on me.” He went over to the Jewish man and said, “Say something, aren’t you angry at what I’m doing?” The Jewish man quickly replied, “No, why should I be angry? I’m the owner of this place.” Jack V. Grazi OMER A rabbi once went into a taxi during the omer period, and heard that the driver had music playing. “You can’t listen to music now,” the rabbi told the driver, “because they didn’t listen to music during Moses’ generation.” The driver made a short stop and told the rabbi to get out of the cab. “They didn’t have taxis during Moses’ generation!” he said. Dorna Delrahim nia PESACH RIDDLE Q: How is a good sermon like a piece of matzah? A: They both should take less than 18 minutes. Samuel H. Riddle: Day of the Week Junior Riddle: Restaurant SUBMITTED BY: Sarah D. SUBMITTED BY: Morris G. Joe was walking down the street and he forgot what day of the week it was. He asked four people, who may have been lying or telling the truth, and he got these answers: A: Yesterday was Wednesday. B: Tomorrow will be Sunday. C: Today is Friday. D: The day before yesterday was Thursday. He does not know howmany people lied, which is everything he needs to know. What day of the week was it? Last Month’s Riddle: Bankersville There are following conditions in Bankersville: No two inhabitants have the same number of coins in the bank. No inhabitant has exactly 518 coins. There are more inhabitants in the town than any inhabitant’s amount of coins. What is the highest possible number of inhabitants? Solution: There can live maximum of 518 people in the town. By the way, it is clear that one inhabitant must have zero coins, otherwise there wouldn’t be a single man in the town. Solved by: Victor Grazi. There was once a couple who were going out to eat at a restaurant that was the shape of a circle. While the couple was eating, the lights turned off and when the lights came back, their food was missing. The couple had three suspects: the chef, the waiter, and the maid. The chef said he didn’t do it because he was cooking food in the kitchen. The waiter said he didn’t do it because he was on the phone, taking a reservation. The maid said she doesn’t do it because she was cleaning the corner. Who was the suspect and why? Last Month’s Riddle: Subtraction How many times can you subtract the number 2 from the number 32? Solution: Once. After you subtract 2 from 32, you subtract 2 from 30, from 28, and so on. Solved by: David Cohen, Moshe Arieh, Daniela Blum, Eliezer Blum, Esther Blum, Yael Blum, Yosef Aaron Blum, Francine Beyda, Victor Grazi, Moshe Weissman, S. Dayan and Blimi Benedek.