Community Magazine April 2014

122 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE THE SIDE DESIGNING PLANES Bernie was regarded as the top aeronautical engineer in the world. One day he received an order from the President of Israel to build an advanced fighter jet. Bernie used all his company’s resources to build the most advanced jet fighter in history. Everything looked terrific on paper, but when he held the first test flight of the new jet, disaster struck. The wings couldn’t take the strain, and they broke clean off the fuselage. Bernie was devastated. His company redesigned the jet fighter, but the same thing happened at the next test flight. Beside himself with worry, Bernie went to his shul to pray, asking Gd where he had gone wrong. The rabbi saw the distress on Bernie’s face, and naturally asked him what the problem was. Bernie decided to pour his heart out to the rabbi. After hearing about the problem with the jet fighter, the rabbi put his arm on Bernie’s shoulder and told him, “Listen, I know how to solve your problem. All you have to do is drill a row of holes directly above and below where the wing meets the fuselage. If you do this, I absolutely guarantee the wings won’t fall off.” At first, Bernie just smiled and thanked the rabbi for his advice, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized he had nothing to lose. Maybe the rabbi had some holy insight. So Bernie did exactly what the rabbi told him to do. On the next design of the jet fighter, they drilled a row of holes directly above and below where the wings met the fuselage. And it worked! The next test flight went perfectly. Brimming with joy, Bernie went to tell the rabbi that his advice had worked. “Naturally,” said the rabbi. “I never doubted it would.” “But Rabbi, how did you know that drilling the holes would prevent the wings from falling off?” “Bernie,” the rabbi intoned, “I’m an old man. I’ve lived for many, many years and I’ve celebrated Passover many, many times. And in all those years, not once has the matzah broken on the perforation. Shlomo Schweky PASSOVER QUESTIONS Q: What kind of cheese melts on a piece of matza to make a Passover pizza? A: Matzarella Q: Why do we have a Haggadah on Passover? A: So we can seder right words. Yitzchak S. NEW BRIDGE “Mommy,” says Sarah, “do you know that bridge they’ve built over the valley?” “Yes,” replies her mother. “Well,” says Sarah, “do you know what name my friends call it?” “No, what are they calling it?” asks her mother. “The Passover,” replies Sarah. Frieda Mizrahi UNTIMELY During the rabbi’s speech one Saturday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back rows. It was Gary. Gary’s father was horrified. After services, he asked, “Gary, whatever made you do such a thing during prayers?” Gary answered, soberly, “I asked Gd to teach me to whistle... And He did!” A. C ASKING YOUR AGE An elderly Jewish man was called to testify in court. “How old are you?” asked the District Attorney. “I am, kayn aynhoreh, 81.” “What was that?” “I said I am, kayn aynhoreh, 81 years old.” “Just answer the question!” yelled the D.A. “How old are you!?” “Kayn aynhoreh, 81,” the old man replied. The judge said, “The witness will answer the question and only the question or be held in contempt of court!” The counsel for the defense rose and asked the judge, “Your Honor, may I ask?” He turned towards the old man and said, “Kayn aynhoreh, how old are you?” The old man replied, “Eighty-one.” Y. S.

RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy Mjg3NTY=