Community Magazine February 2014

IT’S CORNY Q: How much does a pirate pay for corn? A: A buccaneer. F. Benney BANK ACCOUNT A young guy was in the bank where I work opening his first checking account. He filled out the various forms and chose the style of check he wanted. “One more thing,” I said, point- ing to the top of the form he’d just completed. “Is this how you want your name and address printed on your checks?” “No,” he said. “I want it printed neater.” A. C. LIFEGUARD My buddy applied for a job as an insurance salesperson. Where the form requested “prior experi- ence,” he wrote “lifeguard.” That was it, nothing else. “We’re looking for someone who can not only sell insurance, but who can sell himself,” said the hiring manager. “How does working as a lifeguard pertain to salesmanship?” “I couldn’t swim,” my pal replied. He got the job. Abe Cohen FARMER IN THE FIELD Aman is driving down the road when he passes a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field. He pulls the car over and watches the farmer doing absolutely nothing. The man walks over to the farmer and asks him, “Excuse me, sir, but what are you doing?” “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize,” the farmer says. “How are you trying to do that?” the man asks, puzzled. “Well, I heard they give the prize to people who are out standing in their field.” Ralph Esses RECEPTIONIST Q. What do you call a receptionist in a beauty salon? A. A hair-traffic controller. A.B. THE HEARTFELT SPEECH Abe was the owner of a company that employed over 50 people. On the Monday at the beginning of each month Abe would announce that month’s important updates and changes that we being made. One month, he got up and gave an hour-long prep for the upcoming month. It was going to be the company’s most challenging month yet, he warned, and as he spoke he overheard some employees groaning about the changes being made. With a straight face, Abe told his employees, “We ask for everyone`s suggestions in this matter, and we encourage anyone with a different view to please write it down on paper. We have placed a bin under each desk and Maria the cleaning lady will be going around collecting everything at the end of each day.” Jack Sasson, Ari Sasson MONTHLY PREMIUM As an insurance broker, I sometimes have to call people who have missed paying their monthly premiums. One day, I called a customer and told him that his insurance premium check had bounced due to a lack of funds. He was quite reasonable. “So,” He said, “Who didn’t have the money, me or the bank?” Sarah D. INNOVATIVE IDEA Some of my friends started a company built around an innova- tive idea for an online business. A debate broke out about what to name the venture. “We have to call it Imagination,” one passionate participant cried out. Everyone thought the idea over for a minute, and then a voice of reason replied, “Are you sure you want your business card to read ‘Imagination, Limited’?” Y. D. Riddle: Equation Junior Riddle: Sock Drawer SUBMITTED BY: Steven S. SUBMITTED BY: Morris Guindi Rectify the following equation 101 - 102 = 1 by moving just one digit. Last Month’s Riddle: Tunnel A family wants to get through a dark tunnel, but they must use a torch to get through. Dad can make it in 1 minute, mama in 2 minutes, son in 4 and daughter in 5 minutes. Unfortunately, not more than two persons can go through the narrow tunnel at one time, moving at the speed of the slower one. Can they all make it to the other side if they have a torch that lasts only 12 minutes? Solution: Firstmamaanddad–2minutes.Dadcomesback–3minutes, both children go to mom – 8 minutes. Mama comes to dad – 10 minutes and they both get to their children – 12 minutes. Solved by: Yossi Paretzky, Daniela Blum and Yael Blum There is a drawer with 15 single white socks and 15 single black socks. What is the least amount of socks you would have to take out to get a pair? Last Month’s Riddle: Three Boxes There are three boxes, but there is only a prize in one of them. At least one inscription is true and at least one is false. Steel box: The prize is not in the silver box. Wooden box: The prize is not in this box. Cardboard box: The prize is in this box. Which box is the prize in? Solution: The prize is in the steel box, otherwise all the inscriptions would be either true or false. Solved by: Yosef C. Cohen, Dorna Delrahim Nia, Fortune Farca, J. Husney, Daniela Blum, Esther Blum, Yael Blum, Eliezer Blum, Albert M., Victor Grazi and M. Baum 92 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE