Community Magazine February 2014

72 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE Si•to (sĭtō) Grandmother[Arabic] Ask ito YOU CAN ASK SITO! Send in your toughest queries and requests for the wisdom of Sito mobile: Scan the QR code at right online: go.CommunityM.com/ask email: Ask@CommunityM.com facsimile: 718-504-4246 postal mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway Brooklyn, NY 11223 Dear Sito, My parents have been struggling to make ends meet all my life. I’m graduating high school soon, and my parents want me to help manage my father’s little store in a quiet neighborhood that’s far away. I don’t want to struggle like my parents, and I want to start fresh. What can I say to my parents so they let me choose a job I’m interested in? Choosing a Career Your question is a very admirable one, as it shows your deep love and respect for your parents and your ambition to succeed. My impression is that your dilemma stems from not wanting your ambition to seem like a criticism of your parents’ way of life. You do not want to offend them by intimating that their choice of occupation is not good enough for you. But with honesty and sensitivity, you can share with them your feelings in a respectful and effective manner so that they understand your concerns. The first step is to remind yourself that your parents truly want what is best for you. I imagine they would be proud to know their child wants to forge a personal road to success, but they nevertheless feel that working alongside your Dad – besides providing him with valuable assistance – is in your best interests. Perhaps they do not understand wanting to do more when this business is all they have ever known. Growing up today, surrounded by affluence, opportunity, and an emphasis on financial success, you understand that there are ways and means available to you that will allow you to prosper and avoid the need to struggle to make ends meet. Additionally, for many people, the desire for security and familiarity overrides the desire for financial growth. Perhaps your parents’ lifelong struggles are fostered by an understandable fear of trying something new. Although they know the situation isn’t perfect, they find comfort in the familiarity of their small business, and in the fact that your Dad is able to be his own boss, which imposes a lot of responsibility but also offers a good measure of independence and job security. It is quite likely that they want you to enjoy these benefits, as well. Simply put, by suggesting that you go into your father’s business, although it may limit you financially, your parents are assuring themselves that you will always have a job. With this in mind, I suggest you have a discussion with your parents in which you address their concerns while asking that they respect your desire to make your own decision. Thank them for the opportunity they are giving you by inviting you work in the store, and let them know you appreciate their trust that you could do a good job. Explain to them that at this stage of your life, while you are still young and do not yet have a family to support, you would like to explore different fields. Be sure tomention the particular pursuits you are considering, so they understand that you are taking your future seriously and responsibly. Then propose that you spend your first year out of high school exploring these opportunities, and if you don’t find one that suits you well, you will reconsider working in your father’s store. Once again, remember that your parents ultimately want only what is best for you. Right now they believe that working in your father’s store is best, and it is up to you to show them that something else could be even better. All the best, Sito Dear Choosing a Career,