Community Magazine January 2014

OBSERVATIONS ON GROWING OLD • You have three sizes of clothes in your closet, two of which you will never wear. • You remember when Google, iPod, email, modem, etc. were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table. • The things that you used to care to do, you don’t care to do, but you really do care that you don’t care to do them anymore. • You finally realize that you’re never going to be good at anything, especially golf. • You tend to ask more questions: “What?” “When?” Jack V. Grazi WHO’S SENILE? An elderly couple was celebrating their 60th anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. On their way back home, they found a wallet full of money. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, took it home. There, she counted the money – one thousand dollars! “We’ve got to give it back,” Ronny said. “No, let’s hold on to it,” Sally said. She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic. The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. “Pardon me, did either of you find a wallet yesterday?” Ronny was feeling guilty, so he said yes. “Oh, he doesn’t know, he’s getting senile,” Sally said, not wanting to admit they found the money. The agents turned to Ronny and began to question him. “Tell us the story from the beginning,” one of the officers said. “Well,” Ronny said, “when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday...” The first police officer turned to his partner and said, “We’re outta here!” Alfred Harary FITNESS ROUTINE At the urging of Harry’s wife and doctor, 50-year-old Harry finally made it to the gym. After consulting with one of the trainers, Harry decided to try out a steep treadmill. “Ok,” said the trainer, “I’m going to set it for 10 minutes. If you want to go longer, just press ‘start’ again.” At first Harry was doing fine, but after five seconds he started getting tired, and after a minute he jumped off gasping for breath. Walking to the side to sit down, he passed by a friend of his. “Man,” said Harry, “I could barely last a full minute on that treadmill.” “Alright, alright,” said his buddy. “There’s no reason to brag!” S. Sutton AGING WELL Reporter: So what’s the best thing about being 100? Old Lady: No peer pressure. Sylvia S. TWO JUDGES Two small county judges both got arrested for speeding on the same day. Rather than call the state Supreme Court for a visiting judge, each agreed to hear the other’s case. The first judge took the bench while the second stood at the defendant’s table, and admitted his guilt.  The sentencing judge immediately suspended both the fine and court costs. They switched places.  The second judge admitted that he was speeding, too. Thereupon the first judge immediately fined him $250 and ordered him to pay court expenses. The second judge was furious. “I suspended your fine and costs, but you threw the book at me!” he fumed.  The first judge looked at him and replied, “This is the second such case we’ve had in here today.  Someone has to get tough about all this speeding!” Ralph Esses Junior Riddle: Three Boxes SUBMITTED BY: Nathan H. SUBMITTED BY: S. Dweck A family wants to get through a dark tunnel, but they are afraid of the dark and must use a torch to get through. Dad can make it in 1 minute, mama in 2 minutes, son in 4 and daughter in 5 minutes. Unfortunately, not more than two persons can go through the narrow tunnel at one time, moving at the speed of the slower one. Can they all make it to the other side if they have a torch that lasts only 12 minutes? Last Month’s Riddle: 9-Digit Number Find a 9-digit number, which you will gradually round off starting with units, then tenth, hundred etc., until you get to the last numeral, which you do not round off. The rounding alternates (up, down, up ...). After rounding off 8 times, the final number is 500000000. The original number is commensurable by 6 and 7, all the numbers from 1 to 9 are used, and after rounding four times the sum of the not rounded numerals equals 23. Solution: 473816952 – if rounding changes the next numeral character. Solved by: Michael H. There are three boxes, but there is only a prize in one of them. At least one inscription is true and at least one is false. Steel box: The prize is not in the wooden box. Wooden box: The prize is not in this box. Cardboard box: The prize is in this box. Which box is the prize in? Last Month’s Riddle: Calendar Confusion Two children, who were confused about the days of the week, paused on their way to school to straighten matters out. “When the day after tomorrow is yesterday,” said Priscilla, then ‘today’ will be as far from Sunday as that day was which was ‘today’ when the day before yesterday was tomorrow!” On which day of the week did this discussion occur? Solution: The two children were so confused over the calendar that they had started on their way to school on Sunday morning! Solved by: Chana Bat-Cohen and Victor Grazi. Riddle: Tunnel 100 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE