Community Magazine December 2013

DIFFERENCE OF OPINION A patient complained to his doctor, “I’ve been to three other doctors and none of them agreed with your diagnosis.” The doctor calmly replied, “Just wait until the surgery, then they’ll see that I’m right.” Nathan H. PASS THE TEST A college physics professor was grading a particularly difficult test he had just given to his class when a pre-med student approached him. “Why do we have to learn this stuff?” the young man blurted out. “To save lives,” the professor responded before continuing to grade the tests. A few minutes later the student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally, he spoke up. “Physics saves lives because it keeps the people who aren’t serious out of medical school.” Ralph Esses OLD AGE An old man went to the doctor complaining of a terrible pain in his leg. “I am afraid it’s just old age,” the doctor said. “There is nothing we can do about it.” “That can’t be,” the old man fumed. “You must be mistaken.” “How can you possibly know I am wrong?” countered the doctor. The old man replied, “Well it’s quite obvious – my other leg is fine, and it’s exactly the same age!” F. Mizrahi WORRIED MOM Mother: I need to speak to the doctor, it’s an emergency. My infant has a temperature of 101. Doctor to Secretary: Find out how she’s taking the temperature. Secretary: How are you taking it? Mother: Oh, I’m doing OK. Rachel B. ALL IN THE FAMILY Outraged by the high fees his specialist charged to treat his arthritis, a friend asked my dad which doctors he used. “My sons,” he said. “They’re both doctors.” “So you get that kind of work done for nothing,” the friend marveled. Dad smiled. “Actually, I figure it cost me about $100,000 for my kids to treat my knees for free.” Eddie C. STATE OF THE ART Aman was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it is state of the art. It’s perfect.” “Really,” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?” “Twelve thirty.” F. E. ENJOY LIFE Sam went to the doctor for his yearly checkup. “Everything is fine”, said the doctor. “You’re doing OK for your age.” “For my age?” questioned Sam. “I’m only 75. Do you think I’ll make it to 80?” “Well,” said the doctor, “do you drink or smoke?” “No,” Sam replied. “Do you eat fatty meat or sweets?” “No,” said Sam. “I am very careful about what I eat.” “How about your activities? Do you engage in thrilling behaviors like speeding or skiing?” “No,” said Sam, taken aback. “I would never engage in dangerous activities.” “Well,” said the doctor, “then why in the world would you want to live to be 80?” J. Tawil DOCTOR KNOWS BEST Doctor: Mrs. Finkelstein, you’ll live to be 60 years old. Mrs. Finkelstein: I am already 60! Doctor: See, what did I tell you? J. G. Riddle: 9-Digit Number Junior Riddle: Calendar Confusion SUBMITTED BY: S. Shwekey SUBMITTED BY: Sam L. Find a 9-digit number, which you will gradually round off starting with units, then tenth, hundred etc., until you get to the last numeral, which you do not round off. The rounding alternates (up, down, up ...). After rounding off 8 times, the final number is 500000000. The original number is commensurable by 6 and 7, all the numbers from 1 to 9 are used, and after rounding four times the sum of the not rounded numerals equals 23. Last Month’s Riddle: Bowling There are 9 bowling balls on the rack and they all look the same size and the same weight. Ray wants to find his bowling ball, the only bowling ball that is a bit heavier. How would Ray identify it, using a pair of scales only twice? Solution: Divide the 9 balls into 3 groups of 3. Weigh two groups. Thus you find out which group is the heavier ball in. Choose 2 balls from this group and compare their weights. And that’s it. Solved by: Daniel Husney, A.C.Y., H. Soleimani, Daniela Blum, Victor Grazi, Fay Chesir, Raymond Kairey, Ben Lazari, NYS and Ariella Mugrabi Two children, who were confused about the days of the week, paused on their way to school to straighten matters out. “When the day after tomorrow is yesterday,” said Sarah, then ‘today’ will be as far from Sunday as that day was which was ‘today’ when the day before yesterday was tomorrow!” On which day of the week did this discussion occur? Last Month’s Riddle: Brick An old riddle is as follows: One brick is one kilogram and half a brick heavy. How heavy is one brick? Solution: There is an easy equation which can help: 1 brick = 1 kg + 1/2 brick. And so 1 brick is 2 kg heavy. Solved by: Yael Kadosh, Justin Gomez, Ralph Esses, Oliver Queen, Theodore Bagwell, Alyonka Larianov, Chani A., Morris Guindi, Esther Blum, Daniela Blum, Victor Grazi, Fay Chesir, Abraham Nakach, and Mordechai Nakach, Ben Lazari, NYS and Ari Jaffe. 100 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE