Community Magazine April 2013

NISSAN - EYAR 5773 APRIL 2013 31 AJ said. But as eager as he was to give his kidney away, he was presented with a few naysayers as a reality check. “You get there and you meet an array of people, between psychologists, psychiatrists, surgeons, doctors and social workers, and their job is really pretty much to talk you out of doing it. They want to see if you’re really headstrong, and they ask you a battery of questions.” Some examples included whether he could psychologically accept it if a family member needed a kidney after he’d already given his away, or how he’d react if the kidney was rejected by the donor and all was lost. At any step of the way, doctors realize that there’s a chance the donor would pull out. “I had in my mind that I was going to do it no matter what, it didn’t make a difference,” AJ recalls. “I had a chance to help somebody; that’s what I feel like Hashem put me in the world to do.” In fact, the Hebrew word for “kidney” is kilyah , which bears resemblance to the word “ keli – vessel.” The kidney is the body’s purifier, scrubbing the system clean of toxins. And AJ was committed to becoming a “vessel,” too, serving the lofty purpose of saving another person’s life. “There Really is a Plan” For Mitchell, this was more than just an exchange of body parts; there was a divine message he understood from the situation. “It changed my perspective on the way I view Gd,” he said. “I’ve always been a religious person, I went to yeshiva, I’ve always followed the commandments and done mitzvahs, but the way this fell into place, and the fact that there were people out there that are willing to do this, it just shows me that there really is a Plan. Everything is preordained. It’s given me a whole new perspective on the way I look at my own religion and life itself. Up to this point, this sickness that I have, literally took away my life. It took away my job, it took away all the joy in my life, and it gave me nothing but pain. And now Gd has seen to it to restore my life, and it can’t be a coincidence.” In about six months, he added, he should be “pretty close” to normal again. “It’s amazing,” Molly said. “And the thing is that now I can’t get AJ out of my head, or his wife, Joy. I walk around with them on my head all day. I think about them all the time.” “He’s just so good and so nice,” Mitchell added. “You can’t be next to a person like this and not feel good. Whether I was receiving his kidney or not, this is just a special, special person.” A Call to the Community AJ’s is one of 200 kidneys that have been matched up through Renewal since 2006, only a small handful of which have come from the Syrian community, a fact that troubles AJ. “It’s a little bit scary, true, but the upside compared to the downside is enormous,” he assures. “You have a chance to change a person’s life, to give him back his life, and you’re going to go through a couple of months, maybe, of adjustment.” That’s a very minor inconvenience compared to the ordeal faced by most kidney patients, who endure unspeakable suffering emotionally, physically, and financially, Renewal states on its website. Fortunately, for such a procedure, one thing that isn’t a burden is the cost, which is covered either by insurance or Renewal. This includes the operation, lodging, food and other expenses. Renewal also helps to provide referrals to doctors, dialysis centers and hospitals, and professional guidance. One fear that many people have, AJ says, is that their remaining single kidney might fail. The truth is, though, that one who donates a kidney immediately moves to the top of the “donate receiving list.” As for the recuperation process, AJ says that it’s not much more time than pulling through a bad cold. In the initial two weeks, neither party can drive or lift an object weighing more than 10 pounds, and contact sports and heavy exercise must be avoided for another few weeks, until full recovery. “Really, I want to bring awareness to the community, our community, about how we can save lives and make a difference in peoples’ lives,” said AJ. “How often does that happen?” A Life of Giving AJ’s selflessness comes as no surprise to those who have become acquainted with his numerous streams of community work. Over several decades, AJ has compiled an impressive “resume” of charitable activities, and has displayed a firm commitment to making tzedakah a way of life. AJ and his family moved from Baltimore to West Long Branch, New Jersey, and joined the committee of the MagenAbraham synagogue. A year later he was elected president, a role he would devotedly fill for over 20 years. He helped bring the synagogue to a new building, on two acres of land, and under his watch the community grew from 100 people to over 500 today. He has also been involved in the Sephardic Bikur Holim, joining the organization in 2000, serving as president for six years and chairman for five years. AJ’s father passed away 13 years ago, and his gravestone bears the inscription, “He lived to give” – which AJ says personified who he was. “My father’s whole entire life was helping other people. So I think that our family, emulating his footsteps, should continue in his ways.” And that’s exactly what he has long succeeded in doing. AJ was part of the group in Deal that established what he touts as the most efficient Hatzalah in the United States. In 2006, he joined Rabbi Mordechai Dabbah to help Yeshiva Keter Torah, and through their efforts the school has grown from one elementary school to two elementary schools – in Deal and in Lakewood – plus a high school in Lakewood. AJ recounts that at one point he was the president of the shul, president of Bikur Holim, and running the school, all at the same time. Rabbi Mordechai Dabbah, head of Yeshivat Keter Torah, calls AJ an “unbelievable” and “well-respected” person, who personifies the three pillars of life: Torah, hesed , and avodat Hashem . AJ has been the executive director of YKT for seven years, and they have known each other in the community for 20 years, during which time Rabbi Dabbah has found that AJ “will do whatever it takes; he steps up to the plate, anything the school needs.” Rabbi Reuven Semah of Congregation "Really, I want to bring awareness to the community, our community, about how we can save lives and make a difference in peoples' lives." AJ Gindi with David Schischa, the Director of Development at Renewal.