Community Magazine December 2012

GET IMMEDIATE SAGE ADVICE OVER THE PHONE! CALL 971-ADVISE-ME (971-238-4736) To speak with Rabbi Elbaz, call Monday and Wednesday evenings from 8:30-9:00 pm (or leave a confidential message) for advice for those ethical dilemmas and practical predicaments which can’t wait. mobile: Scan the QR code at right online: go.CommunityM.com/ask email: Ask@CommunityM.com facsimile: 718-504-4246 postal mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway, Brooklyn, NY 11223 Dear Rabbi, We got rid of the TV in our house a few months ago, but my kids still spend hours every day watching. But instead of watching in the living room like they used to, now they watch in their own room by looking out their bedroom window and into the neighbor’s house. The neighbor always has the TV on and always has the shades wide open. Sometimes the cable programs they watch show indecency and extreme violence, and my kids are being exposed to all of it. We are not on speaking terms with this gentile neighbor after a serious disagreement several years ago, and so I don’t think there’s anything I can do on that end to stop their TV from broadcasting into my house. Do I have to move at this point? Tormented by TV E I C V S a g e D a A D V I C E Dear Tormented by TV, I’m sorry to hear of the dilemma you’re encountering after taking what was undoubtedly a difficult, but praiseworthy, measure – ridding your home of the television. It seems that Hashem is now putting you to the test again, preparing you for further growth. Our children are unquestionably our most valuable and precious assets, and they were entrusted into our hands for us to guide and nurture to the best of our ability, both physically and spiritually. Your concern, then, is quite valid, to say the least. Your apparent willingness to consider moving as a result of this challenge is especially praiseworthy. But realize that relocating a family is generally quite a challenge for parents and children alike. You would need to find a home that will suit the needs of your family, is located amongst neighbors and surroundings whose influences will be better than the present ones, and will be within your reach financially. Before pursuing this alternative, it would be wise to further explore options that would more easily and more immediately solve the problem and protect your children from the undesirable influence of your neighbor’s television. The first and most potent move you must make is to devote your heart in prayer for some amount of time each day on behalf of you children’s spiritual progress and safety, as our sages have emphasized many times over (see the famous Tefilat Ha’Shlah). At the same time, you must make every effort to shield your children to the best of your ability. Take out some time to lovingly infuse them with the determination to avoid that window (or windows), offer incentives, find coverings (more permanent shades or shutters) that would fit into your décor and be difficult to remove, in order to lessen their temptation, and of course keep an eye on your kids as much as possible. It may also be wise to help wean them off of television by allowing them some time each week to watch one of your home movies or a Jewish video on a computer screen, as it is possible that your kids just crave that familiar time of relaxation in front of a screen. Offering them a less harmful way to satisfy this desire can make the transition easier and lessen the temptation to watch your neighbor’s TV. If, after trying everything, your neighbor’s television still remains a developmental threat to your children, it would seem that moving to a new, more spiritually suitable place, would be advisable. Note that even if the financial aspect of such a move would be somewhat taxing (but not overwhelming), in the long run it would be well worth it and should be seriously considered. May Hashem send you His assistance for this crucial task of raising your children in the pure spirit of the Torah, and may you merit seeing all of your children develop into noble Jewish personalities and continue to have only nahat from each and every one of them for many years to come. With Torah blessings, Rabbi Yechiel Elbaz 74 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE