Community Magazine December 2012

Dear Feeling Inferior, It seems to me that you have a lovely friendship with a nice person, something that is not always easy to find. But no relationship is without its challenges. Although envy feels like a bad emotion, it is a natural one. Who doesn’t want nice things, and the freedom to spend money any way we want? Most people, at one point or another, find themselves in situations that make them envious of somebody around them. Such situations call upon us to dig deep into our belief system which teaches us we all are given exactly what we need. Hashem provides us with the material wealth that we need in order to be successful and get close to Him. Some of us need more, some of us need less – but we all have exactly what Hashem wants us to have. And although it sometimes strikes us as unfair that others seem to have it easier than us, we have to remember to be content and satisfied with our share, whatever it is. To help accomplish this formidable task of being satisfied with less than someone else, remember the old cliché that money doesn’t buy happiness. Just look at all the rich people in American society who always seem to be miserable, even though they have more money than they could possibly spend. Material wealth, like this world, is fleeting and temporary, whereas the good deeds that we do and the impact we have on the people around of us last eternally, and are thus infinitely more valuable and gratifying than any money or possessions we could acquire. When we compare ourselves to others, whether materially or physically, we almost always will find something lacking in our lives. But there is much more to life than money, and having more or less money does not make someone superior or inferior. If we look at what we have with gratitude and appreciation, it won’t matter so much that others have more. Nurture this friendship, which you seem to find very meaningful and rewarding. We can never know for sure, but it is very possible that Hashem brought this friend into your life for the specific purpose of helping you overcome your envy. Appreciate her loyalty to you and her ability to share, and it won’t bother you that you don’t have as much as she does. You deserve to have a good friend, and that is likely why Hashem put her in your path. All the best, Sito Dear Sito, I’m 15 years old and I have started to get close to a nice girl who just transferred to my school. She’s a very nice person and has great midot (character traits). We have a lot in common, except one thing – she’s super rich and I’m not. She wears the top brands which she buys (not on sale) at the best department stores, while I wear hand-me- downs from my sisters. She has unlimited spending money for lunch, activities, etc., while I need to save the little pocket money I have for the bus. The worst part of the situation is that I feel so awful for having these feelings of envy towards her. She’s really nice and is quick to share anything, whether it’s a pair of shoes or a salad. What should I do? Signed, Feeling Inferior Si•to (sĭtō) Grandmother[Arabic] Ask ito YOU CAN ASK SITO! Send in your toughest queries and requests for the wisdom of Sito mobile: Scan the QR code at right online: go.CommunityM.com/ask email: Ask@CommunityM.com facsimile: 718-504-4246 postal mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway Brooklyn, NY 11223 72 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE