Community Magazine November 2012

Dear Rabbi, My housekeeper wants to become Jewish. She has been with us for four and a half years and we have grown very fond of her. The feeling seems to be mutual, as she often comes on her day off to take my kids to the park. Unlike many other housekeepers, she has no family close by and doesn’t maintain contact with her family back home. Over the years she has asked about our customs and rituals, and she always showed an appreciation for them. Recently, I saw that she ripped out the gentile books from her Spanish language “bible,” leaving only the Tanach. And yesterday she asked me if I would help her to become Jewish. I really do believe she is sincere, as she does not, to my knowledge, have a boyfriend, and she has always shown an interest in our traditions. Where should I direct her? Curios About Conversion E I C V S a g e D a A D V I C E Dear Curious About Conversion, When approached with a request for giyur – conversion to Judaism – we must first determine the prospective convert’s sincerity. Unlike some other religions, entering Judaism has nothing at all to do with accommodating clergymen or paying their fees, nor is it something which could be accepted in part or on a trial basis. Once a person accepts Judaism upon himself, it’s an eternal bond of loyalty between him and Hashem. Furthermore, whereas some religions might be commonly associated with particular cultures or geographical locations, the essence of Judaism is simply the service of Hashem and His Torah. So although an outsider who is exposed to Jewish holiday celebrations or happy occasions may be attracted by these enjoyable experiences, we must understand that the cuisine and style of affairs that are characteristic of Jewish practice, and even constitute an integral part of our religious observance, in no way define its core. The spirit, the heartbeat, and the beauty of a Jew and his religion is the Torah alone, and the rules which the Torah outlines for us form the framework which, when meticulously followed, will transform us from mundane physical beings into a holy nation of princes worthy of bonding eternally with Hashem. This concept is stated clearly in the Torah (Shemot 19:6): “If you comply with My voice and you guard My covenant [referring to uncompromising Torah observance], you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.” As such, the Torah is not merely a set of obligations, but also a privilege which we receive only after understanding its value and committing ourselves to it wholeheartedly. A partial or lukewarm acceptance of the Torah will not form any bond at all between the prospective convert and Hashem, and thus such a conversion has no halachic significance whatsoever. Beyond the obvious beauty and pleasures Judaism has to offer, there are also restrictive elements within the Torah framework which are less visible to outsiders and which perspective adherents might find burdensome, or even painful at times. And when Torah observance proves challenging and difficult, a person whose faith is not firmly grounded, or whose devotion is shaky, will consider forsaking the Torah in order to ease the situation. This is one of the main concerns which a Jewish court must consider when it is approached by a non-Jew seeking to convert. Sometimes, the nature of the prospective convert’s Jewish affiliation serves as an indicator of his or her level of commitment. If the non-Jew is drawn towards a Jewish family who is not fully observant, then his idea of conversion is based on an inaccurate picture of Torah life, and his conversion request would therefore likely be denied. On the other hand, if a non-Jew is drawn towards a strictly observant family that adheres to the Torah’s mandates uncompromisingly, even under difficult circumstances, there is reason to believe that he indeed recognizes the inner beauty of the Torah, and the possibility of conversion would then be given serious consideration. Without being well-acquainted with your particular situation, I would suggest that you gently analyze your housekeeper’s sincerity in line with the various points mentioned above. Find out what is really motivating her to consider practicing Judaism and what she would be willing to sacrifice for it, without enticing or discouraging her either way. It may also be wise to clearly, but tenderly reveal that our community will not accept converts for marriage, to eliminate this common ulterior motivate from the equation. Should you find a deep affection for true Torah values within her heart, along with a steadfast determination to reconstruct her life within the framework of authentic Torah law, ask your rabbi to connect you with the closest Orthodox court that deals with conversions. The court will then follow the standard procedures for assessing the housekeeper’s sincerity, after which it will decide whether or not to proceed with the conversion. It is important that you, as a caring and devoted friend, be supportive of your housekeeper during this process, while allowing the court to do its work, carefully examining her motives to determine her eligibility for conversion. With Torah blessings, Rabbi Yechiel Elbaz 82 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE