Community Magazine September 2012

MONKeY BusiNess Robert desperately needed a job, and so when his friend told him about an unusual job at the zoo, he decided to take it. The zoo’s star attraction, a gorilla named Congo, had passed away and the zoo staff was unable to locate a replacement. Instead, they had carefully preserved the gorilla’s hide and offered Robert the job of dressing up in the gorilla’s skin and pretending to be Congo so people will continue coming to the zoo. Robert was skeptical at first, but he really needed the money. And so, he put on the skin and went out into the cage. When the first visitors came to the zoo that morning, Robert played up to the audience and did all kinds of tricks, to their absolute delight. The new job was going great, until, during one attempt at an acrobatic move, Robert lost his balance and crashed through the safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage. As he lay there stunned, the lion angrily roared. Petrified, Robert started screaming. “Help, help, help!” The lion raced over to him, placed his paws on his chest and hissed, “Shut up or we’ll both lose our jobs!” Michael Levy MisdiRectiON After a long day of shopping in a department store, Linda dreaded the thought of having to take the stairs. Until she saw this sign: “For your convenience, an elevator is located in China.” Abe Cohen the Last LuNcheON I recently attended a good- bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to “downsizing.” At the event, our manager commented cheerfully, “This is fun. We should do this more often.” Not another word was spoken. We all just stared at each other. Ed Gindi wORd OF MOuth Why did you leave your last job?” “It was something my boss said.” “What did he say?” “You’re fired!” Abe Cohen did YOu heaR? Old Morty had been losing his hearing for years, to the point that his family practically gave up on having conversations with him. Finally, one day Morty went to the doctor to get fitted for a set of hearing aids that restored almost all of his hearing. Morty went back to the doctor a month later for a follow-up visit. After a short hearing test, the doctor said, “Your hearing is near 100 percent. Your family and friends must be really pleased that they can converse with you again.” “Oh, my family and friends don’t know that I can hear yet,” Morty replied. “So nobody really talks to me. I just sit around and listen to their discussions.” “I’m sorry to hear that,” the doctor answered. “Don’t be sorry,” Morty replied. “Over the past month I found out what everyone really thinks… I changed my will three times!” Molly Esses riddle: recess with 7 and 11 SUBMITTED BY: Eddie Cohen On the first day of school, Rabbi Schweky decided to give his first grade class a 15 minute recess break after lunch. But because his watch had stopped, he would need to time the break using sandglasses from the science lab. Using a 7- and an 11-minute sandglass, how can Rabbi Schweky measure exactly 15 minutes? last Month’s riddle: Blushing secretary The school secretary is preparing a mailing to students when she realizes that among the twelve envelopes which were already sealed, one of them – and she’s not sure which – is either missing one sheet or has an extra sheet inside. Since she’s getting married in a few weeks, the secretary doesn’t have time to open all the envelopes. Using a balance scale, how many times will the secretary have to weigh the envelopes to identify the one that is either lighter or heavier than the others? solution: 3 times. Weigh 4 envelopes on each side. If they are balanced, then the then the suspect envelope is among the last four which were not weighed. Put any three of the envelopes already weighed on the left side and three of the un-weighed envelopes on the right. If they are equal, the last envelope is the problem, but if they are not, then we know whether the problem envelope is heavier or light. Weighing two of the envelopes from the right, we will know which envelope is the problem. If after the first weighing the sides are not even, then swap one envelope on the left side with one on the right and replace the other envelopes on the right with three of the un- weighed envelopes. If they are equal, then the suspicious envelopes are the three removed from the right side and we can find which one as explained above. If the left side is lighter, then the problem enve- lope can be one of the two envelopes swapped earlier. Compare one of them to any other envelope to determine which one. If the left side was heavier, then the suspect envelope is one of the original three en- velopes on the left side and we can find which one as explained above. solved by: H. Soleimani Junior riddle: street smarts SUBMITTED BY: Joey Sitt Why are manhole covers round? List as many reasons as you can. last Month’s Junior riddle: laundry Queen Mariana is doing the laundry when there is a blackout. She has three baskets in front of her, one with whites, which is supposed to be on the left, another with darks which is supposed to be in the middle, and a third with unsorted (whites and darks), which is supposed to be on the right. Mariana knows that none of the baskets are ever in the right place. Pulling out an item from only one basket and looking at the color of one of its contents Mariana correctly rearranges the baskets. Which basket did she reach into? And, how did she rearrange the baskets based on the results? solution: Mariana reaches into the basket on the right. If it’s dark, she puts that basket in the middle, the middle basket on the left and the basket on the left on the right. All the baskets will then be in the correct place. solved by: Fortune Farca, Albert Sitt seNd your soluTioNs! mobile: Scan the QR code at right online: go.CommunityM.com/riddle email: riddles@Community M .com facsimile: 718-504-4246 postal mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway, Brooklyn, NY 11223 Correct solutions received by the 20 th of each month will be noted in the next issue. ! ELUL 5772 SEPTEMBER 2012 105