Community Magazine August 2012

W hen children struggle with dyslexia, executive function disorder, ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), or any other learning disability (LD) that impedes their academic success, parents and educators often work towards getting those children up to grade level. Indeed, helping struggling students work at the same level as their peers is of utmost importance. However, many students who have LD become discouraged because they are working towards goals that other people have set – such as getting good grades or doing well on standardized tests – and these goals generally challenge them in the area of their disability. Imagine if you were being forced to work outside of your comfort level every day. For instance, consider how you would feel if you were six feet tall and asked to walk around in a house that was built for children who are four feet or shorter. You can imagine that you would constantly be bumping into doorways and banging your head on the ceiling. That is what we ask children with LD to do on a daily basis! We ask them to adhere to the rules we have set and to squeeze themselves into spaces into which they do not naturally fit. That is why it is so important to talk to children with learning disabilities about their dreams and desires. Helping children with LD find a passion and work towards it will not only enable them to do better in school, but will also help them gain self-esteem and a sense of fulfillment. Setting Goals Before setting goals with your children, ask them open-ended questions about their hopes and dreams for the future. Ask questions such as: • If you could be anything when you grow up, what would you be? • What is something you are really interested in learning about? • Who is a person you admire? Why? Talking with your child and listening to his answers can give you an idea of his passions. For example, he might tell you that he would really like to be an astronaut one day, while you know that he has always performed poorly on math exams. Instead of saying, “Well, Joey, you can’t be an astronaut because you need to be an excellent math student,” get several books on astronauts’ training and education. Help him understand what it means to be an astronaut. If his interest is still peaked, he will be more willing to work towards honing his math skills. It just might give him the determination he needs to ace those tests. Modeling Perseverance Whenever we find ourselves struggling, we need to persevere and push ourselves in order to reach our goal. As parents, we can be role models for our children and teach them that when things are tough, they still need to keep trying. Setting our own goals (whether they are fitness, educational, or personal goals) and then sharing our triumphs and failures with our children will teach them that it is okay to fail and then keep on working towards a goal. This is especially important for children with LD, because sometimes they will feel that they are taking one step backward for every two steps forward. Setting appropriate goals and working towards them are key elements of successful adult lives. This is especially important for children who have LD, because they don’t often have the opportunity to succeed in the regular classroom setting. Through careful goal setting, they can learn to believe in themselves and approach new challenges with an attitude that says, “I think I can.” Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld, founder and director of the SOS program, is an educator and educational consultant with specialization as a keriah and reading coach. Serving the Jewish community for close to 30 years, she has experience providing evaluations, G.E.D. preparation, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness. insights into education RIFKA SCHONFELD Setting Goals for Children with LD Encouraging Success Even if your child does not reach his ultimate goal, striving and succeeding incrementally can be immensely rewarding. Here are some suggestions that might help push your child to continue working toward his goal: Pay attention. Recognize when your child is working towards his goal and praise him for it. Link schoolwork and personal goal. As your child will still be heavily involved in schoolwork, try to connect his personal goal (such as becoming an astronaut) with subject matter he is studying in school (such as math), which will both enhance his performance in school and bolster his perseverance. Praise effort. Don’t only pay attention to results; praise your child’s attempts, as well. Reinforce success. When your child succeeds, ask him, “How did you do that?” This will help your child understand that he is highly capable, make him consciously aware of the formula he used to succeed, and will also provide him with an opportunity to give himself a compliment. 60 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE

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