Community Magazine July 2012

Dear Jewish Names Preferred, Besha’a tova (May [the birth] take place at an auspicious time). A new baby is such an exciting prospect for the entire family, especially for grandparents awaiting a little namesake. Although I truly love and cherish every one of my grandchildren equally, I have to admit I get a big thrill whenever speaking about or hearing from my granddaughter who carries my name – my Hebrew name. In our rich tradition of naming our children after our parents, parents have come to expect that this custom will continue with exactitude – naming our progeny with the name with which our parents identify themselves, as opposed to a name they’ve never used or feel no connection to – which in many cases is the Jewish name. At the same time, I also understand why it is so important for you to give your child a Jewish name and call her by that name. When the Jews were enslaved in Egypt, they kept the tradition of naming their children with Jewish names rather than adopting Egyptian names. Gd looked favorably on this practice and saw it as a redeeming factor. When we pray for ill patients we use their Hebrew names, and, moreover, a Hebrew name identifies us as Jews. It will be helpful to share these considerations with your mom, letting her know first and foremost that you are naming your daughter to honor her and that the connection between her and the child will be strong no matter which name she is called by. A common compromise for this dilemma is to use both names. At the Torah, the baby can be given the Jewish name, as is traditional in our community, while among family – and even perhaps on the birth certificate, your mother’s common name can be used. Around your parents you can pay special attention to use the English name, but while at home or when your daughter goes to school, she can be known by her Jewish name. (It should be noted that our names have special significance and if you are considering a compromise like this, it would be advisable to seek the counsel of your rabbi on the matter.) Naming one’s child for their parent is one of the ways in which we show our respect and admiration for them. This is probably one of the underlying reasons why your mother would like to see a granddaughter named after her. To help bolster this sense of respect and importance, invite your mom to decide what name she would like your child to call her – Grandma, Nana, Savta, or – my favorite – Sito. This way, your mom will have a unique identity, rather than there being just Grandma 1 or Grandma 2. Remind her of how much you love and respect her, and that she will undoubtedly have nahat from her granddaughter, no matter what her name. Best of luck Sito Dear Sito, We are expecting our first child and I’m very nervous to have a girl. My husband and I both would like to use only Jewish names for our children, but I know that I would gravely insult my mother if we don’t use the name she goes by, which is her English name. She tells us that she has waited for a very long time to finally have this nahat (pleasure) and we should not spoil it for her. Even if we do have a boy, Gd willing, this issue will eventually come up and I’m not sure how we should deal with it. Any advice? Signed, Jewish Names Preferred Si•to (sĭtō) Grandmother[Arabic] Ask ito YOU CAN ASK SITO! Send in your toughest queries and requests for the wisdom of Sito mobile: Scan the QR code at right online: go.CommunityM.com/ask email: Ask@CommunityM.com facsimile: 718-504-4246 postal mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway Brooklyn, NY 11223 88 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE