Community Magazine January 2012

The Shaatra Files (shõ•trä) n . An outstanding homemaker [Arabic] File # 537: A Smooth Wedding Day Experience LINDA DAYAN The big day has arrived for your son or daughter, and the perfect wedding you have been dreaming about will soon begin. But the perfection in a wedding is not defined by the dinner menu or floral arrangement. The real goal is that the hatan, kallah and their families should enter the hall with a sense of excitement, joy and gratitude to Hashem – while at the same time feeling calm and stress-free. Such milestones take major planning, both in a spiritual and physical sense. These preparations begin months, often even years, before. But while most of plans revolve around what will happen at the wedding itself, it is also crucial to carefully map out the hours before the wedding, so it can be calm and pleasant, which will inevitably have a positive effect on the family and their guests, as well. Put it in Reverse When planning ahead, it’s always helpful to work backwards. So if you are scheduled to be at the hall by 3pm, start there and move backwards all the way to the night before. Make yourself a list of all the things that need to be done that day. Be as specific as possible, adding how long each errand/ appointment is expected to take. When planning backwards, take into consideration travel time, loading your car, time to eat, and unexpected interruptions. This system will ensure that you’re prepared. A common recommendation for contingency reserve is to add between 15-30 percent of the time you anticipate for each event. Continuing to work backwards, consider what can be done the day before the wedding: READER TIPS W hen my son was getting married, his kallah asked us to recommend a makeup artist. I suggested the one that we were using, assuming that she could do both families if she started early enough. Learn from my mistake! The makeup artist was so rushed that the kallah ended up being late! D.L. I found it helpful to bring a Pack ‘n Play (portable crib) to the hall and leave it in the family’s room so that the babies can sleep soundly, not in a stroller. It helps to have them rested for the upcoming week of sheva berachot . Esther Ab u W e put someone in charge of the gifts and other valuables in advance. He made sure that they were in a safe, locked place at all times. The family knew that if they needed anything, he had the key. C. E. T he night before our wedding, my mother made a delicious hot meal and we all ate together as a family. The relaxed atmosphere was a great way to begin our wedding day preparations! F ied E W hen one of our children was getting married, a friend who is a seamstress came over and gave me a great tip. She handed me a chain of safety pins and advised me to pin one of the safety pins to the inside of my sleeve and push the rest in. It was not noticeable at all. And it really did come in handy. Someone from the family needed a safety pin and she got it – fast! A. N. Don’t Forget to Eat and Sleep! Have a meal cooked and ready to eat for tomorrow (this could be done anytime and put in the freezer). Eating a complete nourishing meal before the wedding will give everyone strength for the upcoming event. And feeling satisfied instead of hungry, can do wonders to keep tensions from flaring. Remember, the dinner reception is actually several hours away, and often the hatan, kallah and their parents have little time to eat until well into the night. It’s essential to turn in early the night before the wedding and get a good night’s sleep. You want to feel and look refreshed for the big day. • Confirm all the appointments and other services, including the caterer, photographer, makeup, and hairdresser – about your specific requests and timing. • The hatan and kallah should have their bags packed in advance. • If necessary, make calls to certain guests who would appreciate the extra attention, expressing that you look forward to seeing them at the wedding. • Have all the girls and women decided on how they want their hair styled. • Make sure that everyone’s suit, dress, or gown is ready to wear, all tags removed. • Put each of the matching accessories (such as tie, cufflinks, jewelry, hosiery, etc.) in a bag that can be hung on the same hanger so everything will be organized, all set to put on, without the last minute rush. Shoes (shined) should be placed next to the hanger. • Pack up a little emergency kit. Include some pain reliever, band-aids, a needle and clear (colorless) thread, scissors, extra hosiery, scotch tape, nail polish and make up, including lipstick for touch ups. Wet wipes are great for taking out stains. • When necessary, arrange for a babysitter who can come along and make plans to have her take the young ones home early – before you find them sprawled out on banquet chairs. 60 Community magazine