Community Magazine January 2012

Minutes before being wheeled into surgery at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital on November 3, 2011, Tomer Naftali, 34, had a lot onhismind. Hewas preparing tohave a kidney removed – so it could be transplanted into the ailing body of Ronen Bokovza – a man he had never met before. PART II: TOMER'S TALE DEBBIE COHEN But oddly enough, Tomer’s overriding preoccupation during those intense moments had less to do with the effects of losing a kidney than with making the future recipient of his kidney feel at ease. “I heard that Ronen was afraid he wouldn’t know what to say to me,” says Tomer. The two were meeting for the first time on the day of the transplant. “So I started talking as soon as he came into the room. I told him that Gd willing everything will be okay, and that. I wanted us to get together and keep a close relationship – that this was not just hello and goodbye. I gave him Birkat Kohanim (the priestly blessing), and then everyone left and I was led to surgery.” When the two embraced, there was not a dry eye in the room. “Why Don’t I Donate?” The story of Tomer’s decision to donate a kidney is deceptively short and simple. Tomer, a printer who lives in Monsey, has dark hair, hazel-brown eyes behind wire- rimmed glasses, a medium build, and an energetic, emphatic manner of speaking. In August of 2011, he was contacted for a price quote by Mrs. Daniella Sabo, whose wedding invitations he had printed eight years earlier. Mrs. Sabo was looking for a printer for a fundraising event being held by the Renewal organization, which works to match potential kidney donors with patients in need of transplants. Moved by the importance of the cause, he decided to donate the printing, for which he was awarded two free tickets in return. He convinced his wife Tzviya to come with him to the event, which was held in Piermont, NY near Monsey. The event featured kidney donors, recipients, doctors, and videos describing Renewal’s work. (One of these videos can be seen on their website, www. renewal.org .) “Suddenly an idea popped into my head,” Tomer says. “I thought ‘if I’m healthy, why don’t I donate a kidney?’ When I told my wife, she thought I was kidding at first. But when she saw I was serious, she was amazed and proud that I would be willing to give of myself to a stranger. And incredibly, she never tried to dissuade me either, which I realize is big on her part,” Tomer recalls. “I walked over to the program director, Rabbi Menachem Friedman, gave him my card and asked him to call me so that I could donate one of my kidneys. He said, ‘If you’re serious, you call me. We don’t call.’ And he gave me his card.” After that things progressed rapidly. “The next morning, Friday at 9:15am, I called,” recounts Tomer. “Rabbi Friedman is never there at that time but he just happened to be at his desk. He emailed me a few forms and I sent them back. By Thursday I got a package of eight vials to draw blood and Fed Ex back. My children’s pediatrician also donated his services, drawing my blood for free.” A Match is Made And that’s when, still unbeknownst to Ronen, everything started falling into place as his 17-year search for a donor finally came to an end. “They discovered very quickly that I’m a match for Ronen, who has been on dialysis for 17 years,” Tomer says. Renewal had tested 250 people for Ronen before Tomer offered to donate. According to Mendy Reiner, Renewal’s founder, “We never push or encourage a potential donor. We don’t want to take advantage of someone’s emotional vulnerability. We just supply the Tomer Naftali (right) with Ronen, the recipient of his kidney, in the weeks following the transplant. 44 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE