Community Magazine September 2011

90 Community magazine tRIpLe CheCKed Morris needed a long column of figures to be added up for a sales presentation that he was supposed to give later on that afternoon. “Sharon,” he said to his secretary, “please add up these figures for me and make sure you check that the total is correct. It’s for an important meeting and the information must be accurate. It might be a good idea to add up the column and check the total three times to be absolutely sure.” “Ok, sir,” Sharon replied. One hour later, Sharon went over to Morris and said, “Here is what you asked me to do.” “Thank you, Sharon,” Morris said. “Did you check it like I asked you to do?” “Yes, sir, three times,” replied Sharon. “And here are the three answers...” Elie Shrem supeRVIsOR tO the ResCue On Monday morning, Smith nervously went to the front office with a request for his supervisor. “Boss,” he said, “I need to ask you something. You see, my family’s doing some heavy house-cleaning tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.” “Sorry, we’re already short- handed, Smith,” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.” “Thanks, boss,” says Smith with a sigh of relief. “I knew I could count on you!” Michael Lalehfar LaZY susaN Sylvia and Susan were taking a lunch break together. Sylvia a real go-getter was bothered by Susan’s laid back attitude and her habit of always putting off work until the last moment. She finally worked up the courage and asked her co-worker, “Susan, why do you always tend to put off till tomorrow what you can do today?” “Well,” Susan explained, “this way if I get fired today, I won’t have to do it at all!” Jack V. Grazi teCh-suppORt sOLdIeR One of Microsoft’s finest technicians was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. The technician looked at his rifle and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his hand over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand, blowing a hole right through his palm. Without hesitation, he then yelled toward the target area, “It’s leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!” Yitzy D. CaReeR OR COmmute After starting a great new job, Richard’s hour-and-a- half commute to work wore him down quickly. The time he spent stuck in traffic was starting to send him over the edge, until finally he decided to quit and try to find something closer to home. After several weeks, his good friend Bill was especially happy when he heard that Richard finally found a new job in the neighborhood. “That’s great!” Bill exclaimed upon hearing the good news. “What are you doing now?” With a deep sigh, Richard replied, “I’m a bus driver.” Abhu Cohen CheCK the paYCheCK One Friday afternoon, when Katy received her paycheck, she noticed that it was for much more than it was supposed to be. Letting her greed get the best of her, she decided not to say anything and cashed it at the bank. The following week, her check was for less than the normal amount, and so, she confronted her boss to ask for the rest of her salary. “How come,” the supervisor inquired, “you didn’t say anything when you were overpaid?” Unruffled, Katy replied, “Well, I can overlook one mistake – but not two in a row!” Shmuel Lalehfar THE Send us your most hilarious jokes, anecdotes, or observations. Top picks will appear in this section with the name of the contributor. email: jokes@Community M .com • fax: 718-504-4246 mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway, Brooklyn, NY 11223 SIDE