Community Magazine October 2010

84 Community magazine Lighter SIDE THE ALwAYS BE pREpARED After a rash of accidents in Florida where cars skidded into canals, Mrs. Stevens was worried that this might happen to her. So she asked her 20-year-old son Brian to buy a tool that could break the car windows in case the vehicle ever went underwater. “It’s good to be prepared,” she mentioned to her son when he gave her the device. While driving his mother’s car the next day, Brian called his mother, “Mom, where’s the tool I bought, did you have a chance to put in the car?” “I sure did,” his mother replied, “It’s in the trunk next to the spare tire.” Abhu Cohen THE RiDE OF THEiR LiFE A group of actresses from Hollywood chartered a double- decker bus to attend a political rally at the state capital. The bus riders on the lower level were having a great time reciting rally slogans and cheers, until one of them realized she hadn’t heard anything from the group upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate. When she reached the top, she found all the actresses there sitting in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, tightly clutching the seats in front of them. “What’s going on up here?” she asked. “We’re having the time of our life downstairs!” One of the actresses looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered... “Yeah, but you’ve got a driver!” Raquel Hanon LEADiNG AmERiCAN TECHNOLOGY Back in the 1960s, when NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that standard ink based pens were unreliable in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA set up a task force of scientists at six top university research centers around the country, who spent a decade and $26 million to develop a pen that can write equally well in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface, and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 220º F degrees. The Russians, faced with the same technical challenge to space travel, just used a pencil. Raymond Janani SpEEDiNG SENiORS A policeman spotted a car speeding down the highway in the left lane. He immediately turned on his siren and went chasing after the speeder. When he got close enough, he pulled up alongside the car and saw a man who looked like he was at least 85-years-old driving about 90-miles-per-hour, while a lady about the same age sat in the passenger seat next to him, calmly knitting. The policeman took out his megaphone and loudly demanded, “Pull over!” Turning around and seeing the cop with his lights and sirens blaring, the little old lady opened her window and shouted to the policeman, “No… it’s a sweater.” Yitzy Daneshpanahi BUS STOp pOLiTiCS A Congressman in Washington, DC decided that it would be a good idea to wear casual clothes and take the bus to the Capitol building, instead of his car, so that he can see how the working people get around the city. Unfamiliar with the public transportation system, he spotted a police officer and asked for directions. “Excuse me, officer,” he said, “how do I get to the Capitol building?” “Simple, just wait here at this bus stop for the number 34 bus,” the officer replied. “It’ll take you right there.” The Congressman thanked him and the officer drove off. Three hours later, the police officer was cruising the same area and, to his surprise, the man he gave directions to earlier was still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said, “Excuse me, but didn’t I explain that to get to the Capitol building you should take the number 34 bus?” “Oh yes, I didn’t forget,” the Congressman said. “But that was three hours ago!” the policeman exclaimed, “Why are you still here?” “Don’t worry, officer,” the Congressman calmly reassured him, “it won’t be long now… the 29 th bus just went by!” Itsik Zeitouni Send us your most hilarious jokes, anecdotes, or observations. Top picks will appear in this section with the name of the contributor. email: jokes@Community M .com • fax: 718-504-4246 mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway, Brooklyn, NY 11223