Community Magazine November 2009

THE STRANGE NAME Walking through San Francisco’s Chinatown, a tourist was enjoying the ambiance of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners, when he turned a corner and saw a building with the sign, “Moishe Moskowitz Laundry.” “Moishe Moskowitz?” he wondered. “How does that belong in Chinatown?” He walked into the shop and saw an old Chinese man standing behind the counter. “Can you explain how this place got a name like ‘Moishe Moskowitz Laundry’?” he asked. The old man answered, “Ah...Evleebody ask me dat. It name of owner.” Looking around, the tourist asked, “Is he here?” “It me,” replies the old man. “Really? You’re Chinese. How did you ever get a name like Moishe Moskowitz?” “Is simple,” said the old man. “Many, many year ago I come to dis country. I standing in line at ‘Documentation Center of Immigration.’ Man in front of me was Jewish man from Romania. Lady at counter look at him and say, ‘What your name?’ He say, ‘Moishe Moskowitz.’ Then she look at me and say, ‘What your name?’ I say, ‘Sung Ting.’” Tutu Mulu KNOW NEWS IS GOOD NEWS Russian President Putin called in the Director of Russian Intelligence and asked, “How come the Jews seem to know everything before we do?” “Two words, Mr. President,” the Intelligence chief replied, “vus titzuch?” “Vus whosuch? What does that mean?” Putin asked. “It’s a Yiddish expression which roughly translates into, ‘What’s happening?’” the chief explained. “Everyone just asks each other this question, and they end up finding out everything.” The President decided to personally go undercover to determine if this is true. He dressed up as an Orthodox Jew (black hat, beard, long black coat) and secretly flew in an unmarked plane to New York. He was picked up in an unmarked car and dropped off in Brooklyn’s most Jewish neighborhood. Soon, a little old man came shuffling along. The President stopped him and whispered, “Vus titzuch?” The old guy whispered back: “The Russian president is in town.” J. Ross GETTING THE GREENHOUSE EFFECT Anthony was glum. He stood outside his home watching the flames eat through the last remnants of his once beautiful house. At first, the firefighters thought they could save the magnificent greenhouse in the back, but the wind fanned the flames onto the glass structure and the engine company had to turn their hoses full force on the greenhouse to prevent the fire from spreading even further. After it was over, one firefighter approached Anthony with some words of comfort: “Sorry about your greenhouse. I feel bad that we couldn’t get the plants out in time… but we did water them for you.” Abhu Cohen Riddle: Front to Back SUBMITTED BY: Elliot Sutton A man lives in a square house with a front door and a back door. He hires a contractor to build a 20 foot ramp from the door on the north side of his home. When the ramp is completed the homeowner is upset and complains that the ramp was supposed to be placed at the front door and not the back door, pointing out correctly that the front door is on the north side. The contractor argues and they go to court. In the end, the judge finds in favor of the contractor. Why? Last Month’s Riddle: Sahih or Gazab While vacationing in Iraq, a traveler came upon beautiful toleh set that he wished to purchase. The price was $35. When he asked the storekeeper if he would sell it for $15, the man said no. But the traveler knew that living in that village were both people from the Gazab tribe whose members were known to always lie and also members of the Sahih tribe who were always known to speak the truth. So the traveler asked the storekeeper which tribe he was from, to which the reply was, “If my wife is a Sahih, then I am a Gazab.” Was the traveler able to buy the set for $15? Solution: No. The storekeeper was a Sahih. If the wife was a Sahih, then as a Gazab, he would not be able to make a truthful statement affirming that fact. Therefore, the man must be a Sahih and his wife is in fact a Gazab. Solved by: Victor Grazi, Neta Sitton Riddle: Foreign Policy SUBMITTED BY: S. Tawil Why can’t an Irish woman living in New Jersey be buried in Canada? Last Month’s Junior Riddle: Prayer Recall How many Avinu Malkenus are there on Yom Kippur? Solution: There is only one Avinu Malkenu (our Father, our King) on Yom Kippur and every other day of the year. Solved by: Moshe Feldman, Malka Feldman, Michael Stein, Marilyn Shamula, Mayer & Michal Chemtob, Rabbi Eliezer Zeytouneh, Ralph Cohen Trivia: Nearby Neighborhoods ! SEND YOUR SOLUTIONS! email: riddles@Community M .com • fax: 718-504-4246 mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway, Brooklyn, NY 11223 Correct solutions received by the 20 th of each month will be featured in the next issue along with your name. Number of years it would take for the median Wagner House resident to earn $875,267, which is the average household income of East Midtown families who live just 60 blocks away. (US Census Bureau) $9,320: 94: Median household income at the Wagner Houses Projects in East Harlem. (NY Times) 90 Community magazine