Community Magazine November 2009

THE NO COST EDUCATION INITIATIVE Thank you for bringing to the forefront one of the unspoken problems with our community’s education system. For the past few years, it seems, the only education- related subject our community was ready to discuss was the high cost of tuition. But why is the cost of educating children in our community so high? Because we demand nothing but the best for our children. We are not prepared to make qualitative sacrifices when it comes to their education. Yet, here we have a practically no-cost option to greatly increase the quality of our children’s education by customizing lessons to the gender specific needs of each kid. But many reject this notion out of hand because of a misguided idea of what is best for their social development. As your article subtly suggests, even some of the separate schools in our community are not fully taking advantage of the opportunity to customize lessons for boys and girls. It is high time that we as a community start to think outside the box while pursuing the dual goals of providing an uncompromising education and making it affordable. Abe Sutton COED CONFESSION While your article on separate vs. coed education did touch on many aspects of this complex issue, it was most heavily centered around the academic ramifications. As someone who went to a coed school which is popularly attended by the Sephardic community, I can’t say whether I would have learned any more effectively in a separate environment, but I do know that socially, I would have been much more content. Every time I hear parents say that they are sending their daughters to a coed school so that they can “feel comfortable around boys,” I get a shiver thinking about my own experience. Having boys in my class didn’t bother me much until adolescence. But when my body began to mature and change, I became extremely nervous about how I looked in front of the boys who sat next to me in class – and I certainly wasn’t the only girl who felt this way. For me, being in a coed school during my formidable years made it much harder to get used to being around boys. Later, in high school, my anxiety around boys led me to overcompensate and I ended up befriending the wrong boys and getting involved in several unhealthy relationships. What people may not realize is that my story is not all that unique. Few will ever step forward to admit going through this ordeal, and many even deny it to themselves. But the proof is in the singles crisis (which I am very much a part of). Do a tally of the older singles (like I did) to measure how many went to a separate school and how many went to a coed school, Then try to tell me how effective coed schools are at making boys and girls “comfortable” around each other. Debbie L. KEEPING VALUES IN FASHION Your Fashion page has been a controversial topic in the past and a source of constant discussion in some circles as to its appropriateness for religious woman. Even though the Fashion page has made efforts to show only clothing that is within the proper guidelines of seniut, the words used in last issue in item #10 – “keep strutting your stuff” – is contrary to the values we are trying to uphold. Do we want to “air” our beauty/body to the world? Flaunting our style to feel good is not the message we should be teaching our daughters. I feel Community Magazine has a responsibility to edit the wording, and not only the pictures. D. M. TRAGIC HEALTH CLUB MEMORIES I would like to thank Sito for her interesting comments about the SCC health club situation and the importance of ensuring separate hours for men and women. But in addition to Sito’s insightful response, I believe we have much to learn from the experience of the community’s Health and Recreation center in Bensonhurst during the 1960’s. My recollections of that institution are marked by three notable memories: It resulted in intermarriage between 1. Jewish and non-Jewish patrons.Anumber of community members defected from Judaism to live with non-Jewish women whom they met there. The mixed workout 2. rooms led to the hiring of Arab belly dancers, some of whom proudly announced that our community funds were sent to fund Arab terror. Rowdy New Year’s parties held there 3. were attended by non-Jews and led to marital problems; drug abuse; and worse. How does all this relate to our situation today? This past summer a Jewish professor at Kingsborough told of a good-looking local non-Jewish college student who bragged about how easy it was for him to gain entrance into one of our community’s institutions. According to the account, four Syrian friends vouched that he was Jewish and he was accepted without any further inquiry. The young man also proceeded to claim to have established and maintained inappropriate relationships with women he met there. Perhaps it is time for our community’s institutions to examine and review membership policies and protocols before we create any more bad memories. J. E. L E T T E R S WE'D LOVE TOHEAR FROMYOU! WRITE US A LETTER Letters submitted become the property of Community Magazine and will not be returned unless accompanied by a self-addressed stamped envelope. Letters may be edited and revised for length, style and grammar before publication. All submissions are considered for publication unless otherwise requested. Preferential consideration is given to brief comments and insights that relate directly to published content. 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