Community Magazine October 2009

12 Community magazine STOP JUDGING NOW To summarize Rabbi Mansour’s advice on how to secure a favorable judgment – don’t judge your neighbor harshly. Sadly, this year I know that many of us (myself included) failed that test. For weeks this past summer, everyone, including me, was glued to the news and the internet conducting our own little investigations. When depositions were released, many even brashly announced their own guilty verdicts – without even considering that there could be more to the story (and there always is). How did we forget about dan lechaf zechut (judging favorably)? What happened to the rule of “innocent until proven guilty”?Maybe now, with our own judgment on the line, we can see the fallacy in such activities. Though Rosh Hashana may have passed, there is still time before Hoshana Raba for us to adopt the kind of generous point of view toward others that we would hope for in our own judgment. D. Dweck NY-BASED KASHRUT ORG NEEDED Rachel Dayan’s article on how difficult it is for consumers to really know what’s kosher concluded that it is up to consumers to plug the holes in the region’s kashrut system. While this may work for knowledgeable and experienced shoppers, for most of us this solution is inadequate. As a well- established and prosperous community, it is shameful that the only kashrut agency we have is located in Deal, New Jersey, some 60 miles from the heart of our biggest population center. The establishment of a community-based kashrut organization is long overdue and it is our responsibility to encourage, support and urge the rabbis in our community who are involved in kashrut to take on this important project. Ralph Shalom THE REAL SINGLES SOLUTION Last month, you posted a letter to the editor entitled, “Another Singles Solution” calling upon single girls to make sure to look attractive as a solution to the singles crisis. But while it’s important to look good, you’ll find many beautiful girls who remain single far longer than they’ve hoped, while some girls who barely know what makeup is get married right out of high school. Hashem is the only one who decides when each person will find their zivug (mate).A matchmaker is only Hashem’s messenger, and I would have hoped that an experienced matchmaker would realize her role as such in shidduchim (matchmaking). I do agree that some boys are a bit too shallow, even the more religious ones. Perhaps we should focus on “fixing” the boys and teaching them the qualities that are truly worth looking for in a prospective wife, rather than telling girls to look attractive. Personally, I do take very much pride in the way I look, but I definitely take more pains to perfect what’s inside – the way I treat others and make them feel, and the way I relate to Hashem. Yes, we singles must dress in a respectable, neat and clean manner. But luckily for us, Hashem is the only Matchmaker. Let’s encourage our singles to keep their heads held high and stay positive, to utilize this time for sincere introspection, spiritual growth and personal improvement. And let’s make sure we always remember that Hashem has a plan for all of us. So keep smiling, girls. Your time will come. I. S. KEEP THE ADS RESPECTABLE While in the past you have had my wholehearted support in your decisions regarding the types of ads allowed in your magazine, I must protest against one ad this past month [which portrayed a woman in an inappropriate outfit]... I believe this was an inadvertent mistake and I hope you will maintain the strict guidelines that you have always upheld. Please ensure that your great magazine doesn’t fall the way others have fallen for the sake of profits. I am among many in our community who do not allow those publications to be brought into my house. I give you my blessing for the upcoming year that Hashem should help you make all your decisions in the true Torah path, and He should bless you with much success. Tziku leshanim rabot. Joey Shames L E T T E R S WE'D LOVE TO HEAR FROMYOU! WRITE US A LETTER Letters submitted become the property of Community Magazine and will not be returned unless accompanied by a self-addressed stamped envelope. Letters may be edited and revised for length, style and grammar before publication. All submissions are considered for publication unless otherwise requested. Preferential consideration is given to brief comments and insights that relate directly to published content. MAIL: COMMUNITYMAGAZINE 1616 OCEAN PKWY BROOKLYN, NY 11223 FAX: 718-504-4246 EMAIL: letters@community m .com