Community Magazine Februafy 2009

When It’s More than the “Baby Blues” S B H M E N T A L H E A L T H R E S O U R C E March is Post-Partum Depression Awareness Month at Sephardic Bikur Holim “I was diagnosed with PPD and anxiety. I had two children close in age and, to me, it was extremely difficult. I used to wake up with my heart rac- ing, sweating, afraid, no, petrified to face the day. I felt like a prisoner in a jail cell with the walls closing in. There was no escape for me. I remember just crying uncontrollably for no reason at all. Something was happening to me, and I didn’t understand what was going on. Why aren’t I happy? Hashem blessed me with two adorable children. Why don’t I feel blessed? Guilty feelings overwhelmed me. All I wanted was to run away, to get in the car, and disappear. My husband took me to therapy, and the therapist explained to me that post-partum depression was not my fault, that it was my hormones and that it can be treated. Yet, I was in extreme denial at that point saying, “No, not ME! I’m normal and NO WAY to medication.” I thought I could just deal with it, and over time it would go away. So weeks went by, and I was going through the daily motions of taking care of the children, but in a robotic fashion (I was not at the point where I couldn’t take care of my children). It wasn’t a pleasure. It was days filled with anxiety, panic attacks, and many, many tears. Until one day my husband found me on the steps to our apartment just staring into space with tears in my eyes. And he knew he had to really take control of things. We spoke to our Rabbi. He convinced me that if I don’t get help right away, my situation will deteriorate. No, you can’t just SNAP out of it . I really didn’t want to be medicated. I was so afraid of the stigma, yet deep down I knew what I had to do. I knew I had to be a better mother to the chil- dren and a better wife. And I did. I went for help, and I was prescribed med- ication. I was on it for about 10 months and then was slowly weaned off it. Let me tell you, it was the best thing I did for myself and my family. With the support of family and close friends, I was able to function much better with a smile on my face. I slowly realized that what I had was not my fault. It could happen to anyone. For any of you going through this or something similar, I am begging you to seek help, go for therapy, and take medication. Do it for yourself. It’s not forever.” Join in as community women share their personal experiences with you. A roundtable brunch discussion on post-partum depression will be held in March. Call 718.787.1300 to speak with Laurie for details. A True Story