Community Magazine Februafy 2009

16 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE RABBI ELI MANSOUR A mong the many laws in Parashat Mishpatim governing interpersonal relations, there is one which may not, at first glance, appear to bear any practical relevance for today’s Jews: “One who steals a person and sells him…shall die” (21:16). The Torah, understandably, assigns kidnapping the status of a capital crime. The gravity of this offense is readily obvious and requires no elaboration. But what practical lesson might this admonition convey to us, Jews who would never consider holding another human being against his will? A “Remote Control” Society The Hazon Ish (Rabbi Avraham Yeshaya Karelitz, 1879-1954) suggested that the Torah here forbids many different forms of “kidnapping”– beyond the narrow prohibition against forcefully restraining a person. Namely, the Torah here prohibits exerting excessive control over one’s fellow, restraining him not in the sense of imprison- ment, but by denying him his freedom to act as he pleases. This form of “kidnapping” assumes several different forms. In 2001, a psychiatrist named Les Parrott published a book called The Control Freak , profiling various manifestations of this obsession with control. The most common examples are the tragic situations of child abuse, in all its different forms. Some parents and teachers struggling with low self-esteem seek to bolster their ego by exerting excessive control over the children under their charge, which gives them a sense of empowerment. Unfortunately, parents undergoing a harsh divorce occasionally use the children as pawns in the legal battle against each other. Equally deplorable is the practice of some husbands to withhold a get (religious divorce) from their wives, denying them the ability to remarry. These crimes are some modern examples of “kidnapping,” of forcefully exerting control over others. Others use wealth to intimidate and assert power and authority over their family members or community, as a despicable means of self-empowerment. It is easy to see how today’s culture lends itself to this obsession with control. One rabbi recalled playing with matchbox cars as a child. He would place the car on the floor, push it and watch it go. At that point, he had no control over what happened next. Today, children at the youngest ages play with remote control cars, exer- cising full control over the toy all over the house. Remote control helicopters have also become popular; toy helicopters fly through the house, with the children in full control of the copter’s flight. As adults, too, we constantly use remote control devices and gadgets. And we see NASA technicians in Houston controlling spaceships and satellites millions of miles away in space. Naturally, we have grown accustomed to controlling things around us, and it is thus understandable why some people insist on exerting control over others. At home, in the classroom or at the workplace, these “control freaks” feel the need to intimidate and control those around them like a remote-controlled device. The Torah’s prohibition against kidnapping is thus very applicable to us today – perhaps even more so than in previous generations! There may, however, be another interpretation of this verse, whereby it teaches a reciprocal concept, demanding that we exert control over the one person whom it is most difficult to restrain – ourselves. Dedicated in memory of Mrs. Rae Semah v"g vv   Are you guilty of kidnapping? The answer may surprise you. of