Community Magazine November 2008

86 Community magazine LINDA FRANCO K itchen Aid. Bosch. Cuisinart. Hoover. What do these names mean in our lives? We all have our share of things we can- not do without. For many of us, the aforemen- tioned appliances assume prominent places on our list of must haves. Unfortunately, we tend to overlook many, far more critical “appliances” that we need in our homes and in our lives. A true household absolutely must have the heart and soul of the person using all these electronic devices. Beyond objects, we all need attitudes, feelings and perspectives. What qualities do you feel you need to make your household “tick”? And what do you do when you sense that these qualities are missing? This month, we’re presenting our own list of household must haves. Read on and see what applies to your shaatra household. Love It’s easier said than done. Of course we love the members of our house- hold, but we need to say it clearly as often as we can. Everyone in the household, from spouses to elderly parents to children, need to be told they are loved and appreciated. Words of love instill a feeling of security among family members that contributes immeasur- ably toward building the atmosphere of hap- piness and contentment that we all want in our homes. . When a family member hears from you clearly that he/she is loved, and feels loveable, they are more likely to speak the same way to others, and are less prone to resentment and defensiveness. Love can and should be shown in other ways, as well. Besides the occasional surprise gift, family members can show appreciation through simple gestures such as tender greet- ings, genuine compliments, and doing favors before being asked. All this serves to build confidence and generate an overall feeling of joy and goodwill in the home. Sense of Humor Nothing brightens the household like your smile. Even if you don’t feel like it, make it a habit of smiling for a full18 seconds each time. Those 18 seconds of smiling can drasti- cally change your mood and outlook, and transform even the most frustrating, stressful days into a fond memory. Remember to smile longer during life’s happy moments, as well. Time goes by too fast. A longer lasting smile will help you savor the joyous moment even more. When things seem to be getting out of hand, stop and laugh. Sometimes, the only thing you can do about a situation is to throw your hands up in the air and laugh. As the saying goes, “When you’re in hot water, act like a tea kettle and sing.” Positive Thinking There are always two ways to look at situa- tions. As the CEO of the house, our reactions to situations are infectious. If we want our household members to accomplish tasks in a positive manner, we need to roll up our sleeves and “just do it.” Saying little and doing much (see Pirkei Avot 1:15) will set an important model of industriousness and positive thinking that your kids will want to follow. They will learn to take on challenges and achieve, rather than leaving difficult problems for others to solve. And besides, doing something, as opposed to wallowing in your feeling of helplessness, can be very therapeutic in itself. It’s an effective way of getting out of a mental rut and convinc- ing yourself of your ability to competently address the situation. Patience No one is born with it. It is our job to build it within ourselves, and use it as often as possible. Here are some points to consider about patience: Things take time. If the end result is not achieved as quickly or as easily as you anticipated, accept it and patiently see the task through to completion. Other people do not necessarily follow your schedule. Just because you need to get some- thing done within the next five minutes, you cannot expect the rest of the household to be in the same kind of rush. And remember, for all you know, they might have something just The Shaatra Files File #819: Household Must Haves (shõ•trä) n . An outstanding homemaker [Ar bic] READER TIPS: Downtime for me is the most  important factor in running a well functioning household. Sometimes just closing my eyes for 15 minutes makes me a new person! A. N. Nothing defines a Jewish house-  hold more than its Shabbat expe- rience. It’s where the tone of the family’s relationship is set, the children learn what’s important to their parents and vise versa and a husband and wife can reconnect after a hectic week. R. Tawil My household is best run on a  schedule. If the children follow a simple schedule, they know what to expect each day and each obstacle can be faced with ease. But every household needs love and togetherness. With a loving atmosphere, children and par- ents can feel they can turn to one another in need. So, for example, every evening, no matter how tired I am, I read with my daugh- ter together in her bed. This way, we strictly follow a schedule, but in a tender, loving way. R. Shomer Send your tips for the next edition: HOME REMEDIES to: shaatra@communityM.com