COMMUNITY MAGAZINE May 2008

44 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE in general, and for us, their parents, specifically? Yes, of course, but only if we take our generation and its limita- tions into account. Otherwise we are simply treating the patient with ineffective cures simply because we approve of the medicine, while being oblivious to patient’s actual condition. I’m reminded of the cartoon that depicts a doctor handing his patient a pair of crutches and the patient exclaiming, “But doc I have a stomach ache!” GOOD EXPOSURE For the father of the 11-year-old who threatened to call the police on his parents, the contrast between children who had only secular influences and those with a Torah upbringing was abundantly clear. Children who are exposed to the morally corrupt trends of the secular world – through television and other media or by way of unsavory friends – are likely to mimic this behavior. Therefore, one of the keys to garnering respect from our children is to expose them to the positive influence of our Torah and limit their exposure to the reverse. TAKE SIDES Now, more than ever before, we must show them clearly and in no uncertain terms that we are on their side. Only then can we be sure that they will truly respect us. Underlying any attempt to teach our children to respect us must be the clear and certain real- ization, in our child’s eyes, that we are truly out for their benefit; that we are truly on their side. Indeed most parents are looking out for their child’s best inter- est anyway. But while this may be clear to the parent, it is not always clear to the child. It is therefore necessary to invest the time and effort to achieving this goal. NOT JUST DISCIPLINE Of course, we must still discipline our children because as stat- ed in previous articles, being a parent is not a popularity contest. Nonetheless, if we are disciplining all of the time or even most of the time our children will not feel that we are out for their benefits. Instead they may view us as an opponent, one they unfortunately have no choice but to contend with. In this scenario we may suc- ceed in our discipline but not in developing true respect in our children’s hearts. If we want our children to want to respect us, discipline, although important, should not be the overriding theme in our relationship with our children. To be continued… CM • Rabbi Brezak’s bestseller, Chinuch in Turbulent Times, can be ordered directly from ArtScroll/Mesorah or purchased at your local bookstore. • To register for Rabbi Brezak’s weekly parenting line please call 732 886 8821 • Questions for Rabbi Brezak can be submitted by fax at (718)732-2522 or by email to kavey@thejnet.com CURBSIDE SERVICE! Lowest Prices on Contact Lenses 490 Avenue P Tel: 718.998.8000 // Fax: 718.375.1282 DearDrugs@Gmail.com Low PRICES on MaxI- HEaLtH friendly, courteous service to the community for over 22 years ~ 3 full time Pharmacists~ Before you go to mail order TALK TO US FIRST! Fax, TexT,orBlackBerryyour ordersandreFillsTous!! DearDrugs@gmail.com