COMMUNITY MAGAZINE May 2008

42 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE MAKING SENSE OF THE TIMES You may be familiar with the group of overweight children that filed suit against the McDonald’s fast food chain for causing them to become obese and unhealthy. Their lawyer said that McDon- ald’s has created a national epidemic of overweight kids and has violated consumer fraud laws by failing to adequately disclose the health effects of its menu items. One child associated with the suit tipped the scales at 400 pounds and has been eating nearly every day at McDonald’s since he was six. “I normally order the Big Mac, fries, ice cream or shake – I like to super size my orders”, said the boy in an affidavit. Some of the children claim to have regularly eaten at MacDonald’s twice a day. The McDonald’s lawyer said it is common knowledge that hamburgers, fries, and the like, contain fat. This lawsuit is, in ef- fect, “asking the court to abandon common knowledge and com- mon sense.” Unfortunately in these turbulent times society at large has abandoned common sense, long ago. Aperson living in NewYork whose home had been burglarized numerous times, decided to buy a gun. One night soon after, he ran outside his house to investigate a noise only to find a burglar sitting in the front seat of his car. He pointed the gun at the burglar and the burglar immediately attacked, grabbing a screwdriver and pinning the man to the fence. The man then defended himself by pulling the trigger and wounding the burglar in the hip. In a seem- ing perversion of law and order, this burglary victim may soon be brought up on charges of attempted manslaughter. Who knows, maybe the burglar will also bring him to court for having a car and thus causing him to steal? It is in the midst of this confusion that we ask our children to learn respect. Respect for Hashem and His Torah, respect for that which is important, respect for others, respect for themselves as descendants of Avraham, Yizhak, and Yaakov, and to be sure, re- spect for their parents. Is there anything we can do to instill in our children true respect, even in our generation? Is there any method that will bring the child to want to do our will, and genuinely care about pleasing us? ROLE REVERSAL In an article written a few years ago, I cited the story of a non- religious couple from Tel Aviv: A millionaire and his wife who live in Tel Aviv allowed their 11-year-old child to invite some friends over for a small party. The parents agreed to give the child the run of the house while they took their youngest along with them to visit some relatives, telling the child that they would return around 11 p.m. But the parents came home a bit earlier than they had expected. It was about 10:45 when they knocked on the door of their home, and heard their child’s voice asking, “Who is it?” The parents, who were feeling the strain after a long day (and night), identified themselves and asked to be let in. In a fit of anger, the child shouted at them through the locked door, “You lied! You said you would be back at 11:00. You better not come in – I’m calling the police if you don’t leave now!” Exhausted, the helpless parents returned to their car with their infant son, and there they waited until 11:00, when they were per- mitted to enter. The following morning, the father had a business meeting with a religious man in Bnei Brak, who happened to have brought his son along. The millionaire was astounded at the extreme respect this boy showed his father. “How did you manage to teach your son such beautiful behavior?” he asked the father. “Our Torah teaches ‘honor your father and mother,’” the re- ligious man explained. “This is what our children are taught in their schools, and this is the way we live.” From that moment on, the millionaire took an intense interest in religion. PARENTAL BEHAVIOR How are we, as parents, expected to instill in our kids proper values? Is there any way we can bring our children to show respect Rabbi Dov Brezak’s insights on education Principles Respect in Turbulent Times The Principal's Upon visiting my friend the contractor, I noticed a very interesting sign hanging on the wall in his office. On it was a vivid color picture of a boy sticking out his tongue. Under it were the words, “You get no respect from your children, you might as well get it from your builder!” On another wall in the same office was a different picture with an older child, a teenager, also sticking out his tongue. The wording was the same, but in this poster there was an added twist. The boy sticking out his tongue had a ring pierced into it. In this case the protruding tongue portrayed a double message, disrespect and defiance, as if to say, “I will pierce a hole in my tongue whether you like it or not. You are not going to tell me what to do.” These attempts at humor are, unfortunately, rather accurate descriptions of the times we live in. Nowadays audacity has reached an all time high (or low, depending how you look at it).