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82 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE Ask Jidoh You can ask Jidoh! Send your queries, questions and requests for the wisdom of Jidoh to: Mail: Community Magazine 1616 Ocean Parkway Brooklyn, NY 11223 Fax: 718-504-4246 email: jidoh@communitym.com Dear Jidoh, When I go to shul to pray, it bothers me to see small children romping around the syna- gogueunsupervised. I oftenhear people say, “Let the kids feel at home in the shul.” But the synagogue is not a home, and I feel it should not be a playground. This past Rosh HaShanah, I personally witnessed a synagogue mehitzah being torn down by young children during prayers. On Yom Kippur, I saw a group of about 25 young boys bothering a man who was trying to rest between prayers, until he was forced to leave the shul. I know of a man who had young children throw lit firecrackers at him while he was praying. And these are just a few examples. What do you think can be done about this problem? Signed, Concerned Dear Concerned, Introducing our children to the beauty of our prayers and helping them grow accustomed to all that our wonderful shuls have to offer is both a special duty and a tremendous responsibility. It starts with a proper assessment of whether a child is ready to be brought to shul. Even if youth programs exist, they are supposed to be for children to learn from, and are not meant to be babysitting services. When children run around unsupervised, it is a complete hilul Hashem (desecration of Gd’s name) and an abrogation of parental responsibil- ity, as well as an infringement on the rights of others and an interference with their concentration on their prayers. Our shuls are holy places, modern-day manifesta- tions of the Holy Temple, and we must constantly be mindful of their sanctity. We can’t expect the shul president or the rabbi to resolve this problem on their own. While they can easily set rules concerning this issue, it is unlikely they can enforce them without the broad support of congregants. Those who are concerned enough about this problem to take action, should approach the rabbi and president and volunteer to enforce the shul’s rules concerning unsupervised children in an official capacity. If we do this collectively, our shuls will regain their status as the holy places they should be. However,someofthebehaviorsmentionedin your letter, such as throwing a lit firecracker, must be dealt with more urgently preferably by the Rabbi and directly with the parents. All the Best, Dear Jidoh, A coworker of ours seems to have a body odor problem. I think she knows that there is some issue and she tries to mask it with perfume, but that just makes it worse. She is the cashier in a busy retail store and while the customers probably don’t notice the smell, any time a salesman needs to go behind the counter, it is almost unbear- able. There isn’t another woman working at the company or even a mutual female acquaintance whom we could ask to dis- creetly explain the use of deodorant. We believe that since she is not from this country she doesn’t use any at all. She is a nice lady and we don’t want to hurt her feelings, but everyone agrees something should be done. What do you suggest? Signed, Scent to Help Dear Scent to Help, From a company standpoint, perhaps the most delicate way to approach this without hurting any feelings would be to issue or add to a “Company Policy Manual” rules restricting the use of perfumes that can cause allergic reactions in others while stating a preference for deodorants which are generally less likely to affect others. Since the manual would be distributed to all employees simultaneously and would cover a wide range of subjects from vaca- tion days to dress code, the employee in question would not feel singled out. Of course, it would be best to begin with some sample manuals and consult a labor lawyer for specific do’s and don’ts about what may or may not be included. If such a project is not feasible, there is a somewhat more direct approach. The problem may be that this person is not familiar with the use of deodorants and antiperspirants, and culturally they do not share the stigma that we have here about personal body odors. You might be better off to find an article which describes safe and natural antiperspirant use to accom- plish your goal. For example, on the site dailymail.co.uk, you can find a chart with many aluminum-free deodorants and an illustration of proper use, as well as other articles on health and well being that can be distributed to all employees. By provid- ing this information under the premise of looking out for all your coworker’s health, you can encourage the use of antiperspi- rant without causing undue embarrassment. All the Best