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42 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE Association put it in one of their journals, “The television industry is not interested in selling its programs to the au- dience. Its interest is in selling its audiences to the advertisers. (The Super Bowl is prime time and 30-second commercials cost $2.3 million.) Issues of quality and social responsibil- ity are unimportant. (Quoted in the amazing book, To Kindle A Soul, by Rabbi Lawrence Kele- man, a must read, available at your local Hebrew bookstore.) Children imitate that which they see. Do we want the television and everything it portrays to be our children’s role model and teacher? I am not suggesting going cold turkey. Although a good idea, that may be too difficult. But reducing the amount of watch- ing time is easy. Remember, easy and consistent = habit. Develop the habit of not allow- ing your children to become dependent on television. • Discuss the importance of as- sociating with proper friends, decency, respect, kindliness. The way to instill these and other values is through discus- sion. Think of those ideals you wish your children to grow with and plant the seeds now! Don’t wait until the child trans- gresses and has their defenses up. Don’t wait until they are too old to care what you have to say. Begin now when they are young. Initiate discussion from time to time. Please note; children don’t appreciate lec- tures. Choose a topic and use it as a springboard for discussion. Involve them and encourage their participation. In this way the values they learn will grow along with them and become part of their very nature. • Get them interested in religion Ultimately it is the child’s con- nection to the Torah and misvot that will keep him decent and noble. Cultivate their interest and involvement in spiritual matters by creating positive associations. We live in a society devoid of values. But we are the descendants of Avraham, Yizhak, and Yaakob. We are the Holy Nation. We are different! With sincere wishes for your success and siyata diShemaya , Rabbi Dov Brezak • Rabbi Brezak’s bestseller, Chinuch in Turbulent Times, can be ordered directly from ArtScroll/Mesorah or purchased at your local bookstore. • To register for Rabbi Brezak’s weekly parenting line please call 732 886 8821 • Questions for Rabbi Brezak can be submitted by fax at (718)732-2522 or by email to kavey@thejnet.com Use “Anyway” Time 1. When you are together with your kids anyway (sitting alone in the house together, waiting in the car together, etc.) pay attention to them and show interest. 2. Arrange “anyway” situations. When you are going somewhere or doing something anyway, take a child along. Examples may be shopping, visiting, going to an affair, etc. 3. Throughout the day there are times when the children will come over and disturb us in order to get our attention. We may be very involved in the matter at hand and see the child as a nuisance and in our way. Instead of pushing them away or reprimanding them, once or twice a day, drop what you are doing (such as talking on the telephone) and give your children the attention. 4. The same is true when a child comes over to talk to us. We may often not be in the mood. Try once or twice a week to seize the opportunity. When they come over to talk, don’t brush them aside. Instead open your ears (and your heart as well). Besides putting your children into shock these small and relatively easy actions will create huge deposits in their emotional bank accounts. Religion Rearing 1. Make the Shabbat table a fun place to be (I refer you to “Chinuch in Turbulent Times” which contains four chapters on the Shabbat table). 2. During prayers or when studying with a child, don’t be grouchy or anxious. This will cultivate the opposite of love for the Torah and the misvot. 3. Always speak respectfully about spiritual matters and rabbis. Keep the criticism to yourself. Demonstrating disrespect towards religious matters will prevent your child from developing those values that are most precious to us, the Torah and misvot.