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106 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE Lighter SIDE THE CHUTZPAH TECHNOLOGY Digging to a depth of 1,000 meters in rural France last year, archeologists found traces of copper wire dating back 1,000 years. The French came to the conclusion that their ancestors had a telephone network centu- ries ago. Not to be outdone by the French, English scientists dug to a depth of 2,000 meters. Shortly thereafter headlines in the U.K. newspapers read: “English archeologists have found traces of 2,000-year-old fiber-optic cable and have con- cluded that their ancestors had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a thousand years earlier than the French.” One week later, Israeli news- papers reported the follow- ing: “After digging as deep as 5,000 meters in a Jerusalem marketplace, scientists found absolutely nothing.” Thus, they concluded that 5,000 years ago Jews were using wireless tech- nology. Maurice Gindi SELF EULOGIES Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?” Artie said: “I would like them to say I was a wonderful hus- band, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.” Eugene commented: “I would like them to say I was a won- derful teacher and servant of Gd who made a huge difference in people’s lives.” Al said: “I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’” Jack V. Grazi FAITHFUL SON-IN-LAW A young woman brings her fiancé home to meet her par- ents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancé to his study for a drink. “So what are your career plans?” the father asks the young man. “I am a Torah scholar,” he replies. “A Torah scholar. Hmmm,” the father says. “Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she’s accustomed to?” “I will study,” the young man replies, “and Gd will provide for us.” “And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?” asks the father. “I will concentrate on my stud- ies,” the young man replies. “Gd will provide for us.” “And children?” asks the father. “How will you support chil- dren?” “Don’t worry, sir, Gd will pro- vide,” replies the fiancé. The conversation proceeds this way, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insists that Gd will provide. Later, the mother asks, “How did it go?” The father answers, “He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he’s already calling me Gd." Tutu Mulu WHERE NO IRANIAN HAS GONE The Iranian President had just finished giving a speech at the UN, and walked out into the lobby. A janitor stood there and the two struck up a conversa- tion. The President said, “You know, I have seen many things in America and the one thing I liked most is the program Star Trek with that Captain Kirk. But there’s something about it I just don’t understand.” “Why that was one of my favorite shows too,” said the janitor. “I’d be happy to answer any questions you have.” “Well, there is Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, and Sulu who is Chinese. But in all the episodes I’ve ever watched there were no Iranians. Why aren’t there any Iranians on Star Trek?” “Oh that’s easy,” the janitor said. He leaned toward the Iranian, and whispered, “It’s because Star Trek takes place in the future!” Abhu Cohen REFORM FEARS Two leaders of reform temples met and were catching up on each other’s lives. When the Can YOU crack us up? Send us your most hilarious jokes, anecdotes, riddles or observations. The top picks will appear in the next issue with the name of the contributor. send us your jokes! email: jokes@community m .com • fax: 718-504-4246 mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway, Brooklyn, NY 11223