Community Magazine August 2006

 ”  74 Community Magazine The Side Lighter Dressed for the Task A man comes home from work one summer day and is greeted by his wife who is wearing a rain coat and a full length mink. Seeing that she is dripping in sweat, he also notices that the air condition- er is on and the windows are open. Confused by this, he asks, “Why are the windows open if the air conditioner is on and why are you dressed like that?” “It’s complicated,” she begins, “First I opened the windows because I wanted to air out the smell after paint- ing the living room, but then it got too hot and so I put on the air conditioner.” Still confused by his wife’s actions, the man asks, “But why in the world are you dressed for rain and cold weather?” “Oh that part is simple,” his wife says, “It said on the paint can, ‘For best results, put on two coats.’” Shirley Shapiro Hair Style Humor One day, while having coffee in an Upper East Side café, two 50-ish women were overheard talking. First women: “What did you do to your hair? It looks like a wig!” Second women: “Actually, It is a wig.” First women: “Really?! You’d never know it.” Jack V. Grazi College Currency Stanley: “I don’t like to brag, but I am putting two kids through college.” Bob: “Really? I didn’t know you had kids? I didn’t even think you were married!” Stanley: “I’m not…the kids belong to my auto mechan- ic.” Abe Cohen Zany Zoology A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the class- room, he saw ten stands with ten birds on them. Each bird had a sack over its head so only the legs were showing. The professor announced that for the test, the students would have to give the com- mon name, habitat, genus and species of each bird by only looking at their legs. The student looked carefully at each set of bird legs, but they all looked the same to him. Frustrated, he began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying all kinds of facts and figures about these birds, but was now being asked to identify them by only looking at their legs. It seemed ridiculous to him and the more he thought about it, the madder he got. Finally, he couldn’t stand it any longer. He went up to the professor, smacked his blank test paper down on the desk and said, “This is the most ridiculous test I have ever taken. How is someone to supposed to tell the differ- ence between birds by look- ing at there legs – and why would they ever need to?!” With that the student threw his test on the professor’s desk and walked to the door. As the professor looked at the blank test paper, he noticed that the student hadn’t even filled out his name. As the student reached the door, the professor called to him, “Mister, what is your name?” The angry student turned to the professor, pulled up his pant legs and said, “You’re so smart, you tell me!” J. D. Girl Talk Q: What do you call an intel- ligent, good looking, sensi- tive, successful man? A: A rumor. Vera Levy Curious Definitions Teacher: Billy, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Billy: A Teacher. R. G . Playing the Part A young boy comes home with great pride and excit- edly announces to his parents that he will be starring in the school play. “That’s great,” his mother says, “what part did you get?” “I’m going to be playing the father of a Jewish family!” the boy says, beaming with pride. His mother frowns and instructs him, “You march right back to those people and tell them that you demand a speaking part!” Lauren G . Can YOU crack us up? Send us your most hilarious jokes, anecdotes, riddles or observations. The top picks will appear in the next issue with the name of the contributor. send us your jokes ! email: jokes@communitym.com • fax: 718-504-4246 mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway , Brooklyn, NY 11223