Community Magazine November 2003

46 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE s ” xc VIRUS WARNING A warning about the latest email virus: Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1960. Symptoms include: Causes you to send the same email twice. Causes you to send a blank email. Causes you to send email to the wrong person. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. Causes you to hit “SEND” before you’ve finished. Causes you to hit “DELETE” instead of “SEND”. Causes you to hit “SEND” when you should “DELETE”. It’s called the “C-Nile Virus” Meir Erani NAME THAT DOG A girl was visiting her neighbor who had just acquired two new dogs. “What are their names?” the girl asked. “We call this one is Rolex and the other one Timex” the neigh- bor replied. “Who ever heard of such a thing? What kind of names are those for a dog?” the girl inquired. “Isn’t it obvious” her neighbor answered “They’re watch dogs”. Eddie Schweky JEWISH FIREMEN One dark night outside a small town, an explosion was heard at the local chemical plant and in a blink it burst into flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the first volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, “All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire depart- ment that brings them out intact. But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments were called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the pres- ident shouted that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire depart- ment who could bring out the company’s secret files. But there was little progress. From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the Jewish rural township volunteer fire company composed entirely of Jewish men over the age of 65. To everyone’s amazement, the little run-down fire engine operated by this Jewish Fire Department passed all the newer sleek engines parked outside the plant...and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside the other firemen watched as the Jewish old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time, the Jewish old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formu- las. The grateful chemical com- pany president proudly announced that for such a brave and courageous feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave, though elderly, Jewish fire fighters. The local news reporters rushed to get an interview with the crew after capturing the event on film. The correspon- dent from WPEN news asked the first question, “What are you going to do with all that money?” “Well,” said Yosef Shaul, the 70-year-old fire chief, “The first thing I’m going to do is fix the brakes on that darned fire truck.” Abe Cohen Can YOU crack us up? Send us your most hilarious jokes, anecdotes, riddles or observations. The top picks will appear in the next issue with the name of the contributor. SEND US YOUR JOKES ! email :cm@communitym.com • fax: 718-504-4246 mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway , Brooklyn, NY 11223 THE SIDE THREE FOR ONE Q: What is the only nut that sneezes A: A Cashew! (bless you) Q: How do you make seven even? A: Take away the “s”! These jokes are so corny… you could actually eat them Ezra & Daniel Shasho