Community Magazine June 2003

50 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE s ” xc CORPORATE CULTURE “If you’re going to work here young man,” said the boss, “one thing you must learn is that we are very keen on clean- liness in this firm. Did you wipe your feet on the mat when you came in?” “Oh, yes sir,” responded the young man. “And another thing, we are very keen on truthfulness,” said the boss, “there is no mat.” Yosef Sutton MUTUAL FEELINGS A lady tells a man she meets “If you were my husband, I would poison your coffee. The man replies “If you were my wife — I would drink it. Abraham Safdeye TOTALLY BATS Two bats go out for their mid- night feed. After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes back to its cave with nothing to eat. The other bat comes back a few minutes later with blood dripping from its mouth. First Bat: “Where did you get all that blood from?” Second Bat: “Follow me, I`ll show you.” The second bat leads the pair to a cave. Second Bat: “You see that wall over there?” First Bat: “Yes I do!” Second Bat: “I didn’t.” Ruth Levy ON A ROLL Darlene sees a man walk up to a soda machine and put in a coin. He presses a button and out pops a Coke. Amazed, she runs to the machine and begins feeding coins and pressing the button. Of course the machine dispenses a drink each time she does so. Soon after, anoth- er lady walks up and watches Darlene continue to monopo- lize the machine. After a few minutes she stops her and asks if she could have a turn. Darlene spins around and exclaims angrily “No!...Can’t you see I’m winning?” Renda Bawabeh A SPOT OF AFTERNOON COFFEE? Jim: Do you know why the English are such big tea drinkers. Joe: Yes I do—I tasted their coffee! Michael Hazan THE PERFECT PLAN Prison inmates planning their escape discuss their strategy. Bill: “Hey George, me and Bob are going to sneak out the cafeteria window today, wish us luck.” George: ”What will you do when you get to the fence?” Bill: “We got that all figured out. If it’s low enough, we’ll climb over, if it’s too high, we’ll dig under.” George: “Wow you boys, are practically home.” An hour later George sees Bill and Bob return to their cell block. George: “What happened boys? Why didn’t you escape? It was a perfect plan!” Bob: “Well we got out the win- dow okay. Then we snuck past the guards in the watch tower.” George: “So what happened with the fence, did you try to go over or under?” Bob: “That was the prob- lem…there was no fence!” Joey Cohen Can YOU crack us up? Send us your most hilarious jokes, anecdotes, riddles or observations. The top picks will appear in the next issue with the name of the contributor. SEND US YOUR JOKES ! email :cm@communitym.com • fax: 718-504-4246 mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway , Brooklyn, NY 11223 I n one room there is a table that has electric switches at each corner and in the other room there is a lamp. The lamp will light only if all the switches are in the same position. (either all 'off' or all 'on'). You go into the first room and play with the switches anyway you like, then you go to the second room to see if the light is on. Furthermore, every time you leave the first room, someone turns the table around in such a way that you will never know which corner you handled when you return (there are no vis- ible cues to indicate that a switch has been activated). In how many trials you will be sure that the light turned on? Riddle: Dizzy Switches Contributed by: Eddie Gindi CLASSIC BAR JOKE Q: A man walks into a bar, what does he say? A: …“Ouch” Jonathan Gold THE SIDE