Community Magazine March 2003

I t started just like that. One Wednesday morning, as some ladies were arriving at our tzniut (modesty) group, waiting for the day’s discussion to begin, someone mentioned that she just doesn’t know where to begin shopping for a gown that’s modest yet elegant enough to wear to her brother’s wedding. The prepared lesson for that day was put on hold, as we dis- cussed the different options for finding a suitable gown for our distraught group member. Many in the group contributed substan- tially to the discussion, suggesting alterna- tives that they had found when faced with the same dilemma. We discussed the option of buying a “regular” gown and then “build- ing it up” by adding sleeves or a higher neckline etc. to comply with halacha. One suggestion was to buy a sleeveless gown and then have a short jacket, of a pretty coordinating fabric, made up to go over it. A friend of mine routinely, buys two of the same inexpensive gown and uses the fabric of one to add to the other wherever needed! (Where there’s a will there’s a way!) There is also the option of going to the fabric store, picking out fabric, and have a dressmaker sew an original creation for you. (Believe it or not, it’s usually cheaper to do it that way then to buy a dress and fix it). There are even fabric stores that have a designer on hand who will work with you, give you ideas, and design your dress. They then provide you with a sketch of the finished product, and sell you exactly the amount of fabric that the dressmaker will need to make the dress. Finally, of course is the option to bor- row a gown. Friends or relatives may have exquisite gowns, just sitting in the closet that they would be happy to loan. The problem with that option is that although there are a great many women who would be thrilled to lend out gowns that they have worn, that are in new condition, and that they aren’t planning to wear again, we don’t know who they are and don’t know where to begin to find them. As we were discussing this dilemma, I remarked offhandedly that someone should open a gemach (free lending serv- ice) in our community where women could donate their modest gowns so others could borrow them. To my surprise, as soon as the class was over, a few of the group members came over to me and said “We want to do it! We want to open the gemach! How should we start?” I was so overwhelmed by the sponta- neous display of chesed (kindness) that I could barely talk! When I finally got my bearings, we discussed putting an ad in “Community Magazine” to solicit gowns and to make the community aware of the gemach’s existence. The ad went in the following month and the “Modest Eveningwear Gemach” was a reality. The ad garnered a tremendous response from those looking to borrow gowns, but there is still much work to be done in gath- ering a more substantial collection of gar- ments. The gemach is actively appealing to those who are willing to contribute gowns that they don’t plan to wear again. The mitzvah of donating a gown is not only about saving money for others, but also saving the time and energy that it takes to find a garment that is properly covered up in a world where modest attire is hard to find. In the absence of the expense and hassle in finding modest eveningwear, many more women would undoubtedly dress more modestly at affairs. It’s just so much easier to go to the “regular” stores, buy what they have and just wear it. Donating to the gemach will make it easier for the women and girls of our community to look the way they know they should, without the aggravation. What a mitzvah! Donating to any type of gemach is a unique type of mitzvah. You can make a contribution one time, and yet accumulate another mitzvah to your credit every time the item or money is used. Donating to the “Modest Eveningwear Gemach” has the added bonus of giving women a chance to participate in and help the ever growing movement in our community of women trying to dress more modestly. Now, as Pesach cleaning is about to get underway, make that decision to part with any gown that you know you aren’t going to be wearing once more, and reap the reward for that mitzvah over and over again. To donate modest eveningwear, call one of the ladies in the ad on the opposite page. 28 COMMUNITY MAGAZINE s ” xc B Y : B O N N I E M A N S O U R WHAT SHOULD I WEAR TO MY BROTHER’S WEDDING?